[For Sex&Drugs&Rock&Roll‘s “Clean Rockin’ Daddy” or any other recaps on Fetchland, assume the presence of possible spoilers.]
Clean Rockin’ Daddy.The band wants Johnny to write songs again but doesn’t want him using drugs and alcohol.
The first scene of the second episode opens with Johnny signing a contract for an awesome loft and dream job as a songwriter. The band’s manager – that lawyer from Ally McBeal who was obsessed with waddles – explains the terms. All he has to do is write five songs in two months. Flash already signed it and the deal’s a win-win. He signs it.
Next thing we know Gigi and Flash find Johnny in the studio waking up from a bender behind some drums. He got blasted the night before and wrote an awesome song. Everyone agrees. They rock it out and love it. But then the fact that he was high when he wrote it is apparently against the rules on this merry go around. Their manager insists Johnny has to stay clean while he writes songs under the contract he just signed. They all insist his health is the most important thing. When he asks them to name a great band or rock star that doesn’t get high they say Coldplay, Morrisey, Radiohead. Johnny says he rests his case.
“Every time I listen to a song by Radiohead I feel like I’m failing the SATs all over again.”
Despite Johnny’s numerous protestations that all the greatest songs are written under the influence, he eventually agrees to give it a shot. The drummer, Bam, is determined to help Johnny with a resolute sincerity, breathing exercises, and gluten free tater tots. He advises Johnny to “Breathe. Flow. Engage.” But Johnny really isn’t into that Sting record. Meanwhile the bass player may be named Rehab but he’s got a duffle bag full of pills that “help him stay clean and sober.” Those are the best kind, Rehab. We get it. Not only does Rehab have lots of Adderall, he’s got a gut bursting with rage and 29 songs about the Irish potato famine for Johnny to consider adding to the new album. Johnny’s willing to listen if it means he gets to finger those pills. Luckily he gets some in his system because the songs sound like the old days when people used to play records backward searching for secret satan messages.
Johnny’s pill-filled bloodstream helps with his fifteenth Flash convo about not sleeping with his daughter, a fun mocking parody of Morrisey/Radiohead pleading for the world to not eat meat, and a Gigi confrontation when Johnny explains that he’s not an addict but an artist and the drugs ease his expression. She doesn’t fall for it and confiscates the rest of his pills. Now Johnny’s officially down to a cup of coffee and slow sunset as inspiration for his next song… a falsetto whine about mining sinner’s gold that sounds like something “Sting would write living inside Sarah Maclaughlin’s vagina.”
After the band and their manager listen they’re immediately off to get him whiskey, weed, vodka, and Darvon so Johnny can get high and write a decent song. But no more blow, Gigi insists. She gets the best lines. But Johnny gets his way, so he wins this one.