Chris has been listening to our old casts and looking through his old cards, and we have some particularly embarrassing memories to share as a result.
We also discuss the crazy spoilers that appeared a few weeks ago, give away some cards to listeners, discuss a rare paper-magic tournament experience from Chris, and give you a little bit of kitchen advice.
Give it a listen!
Follow us at:
[For American Horror Story – Hotel “The Ten Commandments Killer” or any other recaps on Fetchland, assume the presence of possible spoilers.]
FX Summary:
The Ten Commandments Killer John closes in on the Ten Commandments Killer; Sally’s arrangement with March is revealed.
“The Ten Commandments Killer” reveals John Lowe’s innermost secrets, not just to us but also to Lowe. He finally knows why he’s drawn to the Hotel Cortez, the identity of the Ten Commandments Killer, and even his purpose in life. What more could a boozin’ blue-eyed dreamboat want? Anything but these three things.. if you’re John Lowe.
After the little girl, Wren, dies in the street John runs back to the Hotel Cortez and demands to know where the Ten Commandments Killer is. He’s in the hotel, John says and they’ve all been hiding and protecting him. Sally says she’ll take John to the killer and walks him to room 64, John’s room. Uh oh, we had a feeling… There are answers waiting on the other side of the door, she explains. In fact, room 64 used to be James March’s office space and it was right here where he died.
Sally says John will find what he’s looking for behind the armoire. He pushes the armoire away from the wall to find a door that opens into an eerie blue-lit room full of body parts encased in glass: the hand of a thief for thou shalt not steal and so on. A commandment is engraved on the appropriate plaque on the base of each glass vessel. Sally says March had been waiting for his successor and then finally found him… in John. Lowe’s been doing all the Ten Commandment killings in his boozy blackouts. He picked up where March left off ninety years ago. That’s why he was invited to the serial killer dinner on Halloween. Sally says, “It’s always been you,” and comforts the dazed John with a rocking hug as the truth sinks into his murderous mind. He’s been hunting himself all along.
Being the self destructive type, John can’t wait to confess. He runs to the morgue where his boss stands over Wren’s body. Lowe suddenly remembers everything and it turns out he’s been going to the Hotel Cortez for five years, not just the few weeks we knew about. He was drinking back then and sought a martini at midnight the first time he went to the Hotel. Sally sat near him at the bar but it was Donovan who hit on him first. John isn’t feeling friendly, though… or frisky. Then Donovan tells him he can get truly blasted upstairs and the bar is about to declare last call. Next we see The Countess and March eating a dinner thus interrupted by Donovan and John Lowe at their door. March rages because it’s his one night a month with the beloved Countess. Donovan explains that Lowe had a wretched day and needs to drink himself silly.
Do life and death have no meaning anymore to John? March asks. Lowe replies that being a homicide detective he knows more than anyone that life and death are the ONLY thing that have any meaning. March’s eyes light up as he recognizes a kindred spirit and he releases The Countess and Donovan so they can go bone the night away. He’s intrigued by Lowe and gives him Absinthe. John drinks heavily while March tells him he sees his jet black rage-filled aura. It’s dangerous to keep all that inside because it’ll give him cancer. And anyway, March senses that John’s having trouble keeping it in check. Lowe admits this is true – he feels his own righteous sense of justice, especially at work. If only he was judge jury and executioner. Later that night March tells The Countess John has “once in a generation rage” and he’s finally found the man worthy to continue his work. If she helps capture John for the task March will give her one of the Lowe children. Because The Countess adores impossibly blonde children, it’s a perfect trade.
Remembering it to his boss now Lowe admits that he’s been going to the Hotel Cortez regularly and living a double life. Because time was different at the Hotel he could easily get away with it. Being with James March it was as if no time passed at all. They would talk for hours and March showed him all the wonders of the Cortez, like his trophy room with dead people’s heads right beside the animals. At first Lowe was a bit judgmental about such gore but his frustrations about societal injustices at work sent him back to March again and again. It started to seem to Lowe that he must do the job of justice himself – as March did, playing judge, jury, and executioner. It was like a dream come true for John – get out his rage and finally finding justice all in one bloody package. On his first murderous venture John hunts a guy March claimed a pedophile even though there’s no evidence other than concocted pics and stories. John beats the guy to death and then attempts to hang himself in the stranger’s bathroom but fails because Sally was there. Turns out Sally was always there – in John’s arms.
Sally and John have been having a torrid affair all these five years. Her character is a perfect, if a bit blatant, representative for addiction. About her John says she’s a bottomless pit of need and that when he’s with her, he’s someone else. But he keeps going back to her anyway. Sounds like she’s pretty addictive. Lowe couldn’t kill himself because Sally called March to come save John from his own suicide. March was mad at her for not cutting John down herself. He reminds her that she owes him. They have an arrangement where he protects Sally from a vicious demon, the drill bit maggot looking thing, and in return she does March’s bidding. Apparently Sally conjured this Addiction Demon and it has to feed so she needs March to feed it for her or she’ll be consumed.
John wraps up his confession to his boss with the story of how March advises John that he’s found his true purpose in life, killing and venting his rage – thus using his pain to make the world a cleaner place. Then he shares his Ten Commandments Project with John and tells him to finish the work he couldn’t. When Lowe says he might get caught March tells him to make himself lead detective on the case so he can’t get nailed. John’s boss still doesn’t believe the confession at this point but Lowe doesn’t care, he’s too caught up in the rush of his rage and storytelling. John stabs his boss and says it’s because he was coveting his wife.. one of the Ten Commandments, yes. But when it comes to John actually discerning his boss’s feelings for Alex, this was probably just a guess, at best. It’s all wrapped up nicely for John’s murderous mind, though. He returns to the Hotel Cortez now fully aware of who he is and his purpose in life – a man who is finally whole in this way can’t be stopped from his mission.
This episode revealed a lot about John and Sally, alive and dead versions of twisted addictions. Connected as if they are stuck in a vice made entirely of the other person – locked in it. Instead of halting the narrative, though, these revelations throw us forward into the unknown terror of tomorrow. Now that John is aware how will that change his story? He can’t kill Alex now because she’s got The Countess’s vampire virus. Will he get caught? Or will John die and be eternally stuck in the Hotel Cortez forever like Sally? March always has him do the Ten Commandment murders offsite from the Hotel Cortez. What’s behind that? American Horror Story – Hotel has been consistent and clear in delivering the answers to past questions, so we’ll find out soon. March tells John that death is his art and Lowe has only two killings left to complete the Ten Commandment masterpiece. So, what then for John and March – a showdown? It’s not as if two serial killers are going to share and play nice when the job’s done. March has the advantage of experience but John’s actually alive. It’s a tough fight to call. One thing’s for certain, though, conflict is inevitable at the Hotel Cortez and it’s gonna be to the death.
–Katherine Recap
[For Scream Queens‘ “Black Friday” or any other recaps on Fetchland, assume the presence of possible spoilers.]
FOX Summary:
Black Friday The Red Devil has plans to disrupt the holiday the Chanels like the most; Black Friday.
“Black Friday” introduces Chanel’s philosophy of Christmas, namely making all of her friends question their importance in her life because of the cheap ass Black Friday gifts she gets them for Christmas. Truth is, though this whole show is about Chanel and that’s because SHE’S THE KILLER, DUDES. The evidence all clicked into place in this episode for finals and for reals but we here at Fetchland are not too shy to say we told you so long ago. You know we knew it, baby.
The episode then picks up where we left off after the Thanksgiving turkey turned out to be Gigi’s grey dead head last week. Kappa house is yet again a crime scene. The Chanels are prepped to go Black Friday shopping while Dean Munsch and Zayday are more in the mood to figure out who killed Gigi. But the Chanels won’t be stopped from fulfilling their patriotic shopping duty. They sharpen their shopping claws and flee to the mall like a trés chic wolfpack.
Meanwhile at the police station Grace, Pete, and Wes find out Chisolm just got fired and the rest of the police force is either also fired or on retail duty for the night. So no more investigating the Red Devil killer for now. But let’s get real for a minute. They never really were – remember? Too convinced of ghosts and apparitions doing the dastardly deeds to do any actual detective work. It’s no wonder the killer hasn’t been caught. So, the replacement cops are all at the mall along with the shopping Chanels who delight in the glories of retail until the mall’s closing and they’re locked inside. Suddenly their paradise is a dark danger zone with two Red Devils and not a brain cell or survival skill among them. In the scene which inevitably outs Chanel No. 1 as the killer, a Red Devil comes for her with a bright red crossbow and his arrow hits her right in the collar bone. The arrow sticks out clearly between her shoulder and neck. Denise, the new Chief of Police, and now working retail duty at the mall, interrupts and prevents further injury by scaring the killer away. The Red Devil duo escape as they always do.
This next part is where the rubber meets the road, peeps. Laid out before us is a classic Scream Queens scene. It’s representative of the show because people sit around talking and nothing anybody says makes any sense. What they say matters not, in fact. If we paid attention to the last episode or really any of them we likely already learned this lesson. The entire “Thanksgiving” episode was people accusing each other and explaining theories why every character could be the killer. Sure, anybody could. But they aren’t ALL the killer. Those explanations and theories essentially mean nothing – a Red Devil brand circle jerk. In this “Black Friday” episode the distraction factors are two. The first is all the obsessive attempts to kill Dean Munsch because they allegedly think she’s the killer now. It’s ridiculous to the point of absurdity. Primary example – Grace suddenly thinks they should kill Dean Munsch and insists that they do so. Then in a few scenes she does a complete switch and says the opposite. The Kappas even kick her out for this and Zayday, who previously thought Grace was crazy for being so gung ho to kill Munsch, suddenly agrees with the Chanels about this decision to oust Grace from Kappa and kill the Dean. Yeah right. Sure. Then in the final scene Grace flips AGAIN and tells Pete she wants to sleep with him but only if he helps her kill Dean Munsch. This is all classic Scream Queens and may be them doing some sort of parody on how college students are full of it… who knows? But the outcome is that what these characters say is pretty much all nonsense. Ignore it. We’re not going to figure out the killer based on what anybody says ever because they say one thing and then the opposite a few scenes later. The key to the killer is in what we see. The details, baby.
That’s how we know the killer is Chanel. Remember how she was shot in the collarbone area at the mall? She had an arrow sticking out of it for a significant amount of time. BUT the next time we see Chanel she’s got her arm is in a preposterous furry sling. It’s as if we’re supposed to not remember that her arm was completely unharmed. Her collarbone is completely fine, suddenly. Gee whiz. That’s slightly suspicious. Another suspicious event from the Thanksgiving episode was how she stormed out on Chad and then he shows up at her Kappa Thanksgiving meal soon after. This makes it seem like they’re in cahoots. Their connection definitely goes beyond what they pretend, at the very least.
Next we see distarction factor number two – Pete. First we see Pete and Chad engaged in a classic Scream Queens awkward convo as Chad reads aloud Boone’s dead gay will where he just happens to leave everything to Pete. Chad accuses Pete of being Boone’s secret lover but then it turns out Boone was a different kind of deep throat – his informant/insider and thus, a journalistic treasure to Pete. Then Chad invites Pete to join the Dicki Dollar Scholars because any secret gay lover of Boone’s is a friend of his. Pete declines saying frats are elitist crap and then Chad tells him to choose his weapon. Turns out that anyone who turns down a invitation to the frat has to duel the dollar scholar who invited him. Chad then explains that to turn down the duel, which Pete obviously does, then entitles the scholar to flat out kill him. Hey, rules are rules, bro. Chad promises to kill Pete later when he’s least expecting it.
Pete then gets a mysterious call and says that yes he feels guilty…. because it’s not who he is. He opens his closet and gazes at the Red Devil costume hanging there, facing him and ready to wear. Then Grace comes to Pete’s dorm room and she’s feeling frisky but he’s on edge and tells her he’s actually not a great guy. Pete says can’t sleep with her because he doesn’t want her first time to be with a murderer. Cliffhanger alert! But we at Fetchland think that this is merely a diversion – number two to be precise. You can’t trust what anybody says on this show, in fact the more somebody talks the less you should listen. Watch what they do. Look at the clues right in front of you. Words are just words and on Scream Queens the words matter little and mean next to nothing. Chanel is the killer. But this episode is noteworthy for another reason – no characters died. Yes, a cop got an arrow in the chest at the mall but he wasn’t a known Scream Queens Character. Getting soft, Red Devil? We like it better when you live up to your full name, Red Devil Killer.
Katherine Recap
[For Fargo “Loplop!” or any other recaps on Fetchland, assume the presence of possible spoilers.]
FX Summary:
Loplop Hanzee searches for Peggy and Ed; Dodd ends up in unfamiliar territory.
This episode’s title refers to the artist Max Ernst’s alter ego – a bird character named Loplop. What Ernst called a superior of birds. Ernst had been a gunner in the first World War and as an artist in peacetime, he struggled between his wartime destroyer identity and the creator he was becoming. Thus, Loplop can be seen a manifestation of Ernst’s confusion – two sides of himself in conflict. In this episode Hanzee and Peggy play out this same parallel as the Loplop of Fargo. Peggy is suddenly free as a bird and finally “actualizing herself” while Hanzee struggles with the spoils of war and his Native American identity. He’s a decorated Vietnam vet just trying to get a job done but daily life meets him with brutality and racism from all sides. A concord develops between Peggy and Hanzee in “Loplop” where, though they are nowhere near each other for most of it, she begins to fill his silences with her words while Hanzee’s actions becomes Peggy’s way of being. They are like a yin and yang, circling itself. In the beginning of the episode Peggy is the stalked one and at the end Hanzee has switched from hunter to hunted.
The episode begins with a slow pan through Peggy and Ed’s basement, a crime scene crossed with an outtake from Hoarders. Peggy sits on the stairs with Dodd tied to a chair nearby. Peggy imagines she’s talking to a man (Max Ernst probably) who asks her questions about whether she’s actualized. Does she know the difference between thinking and being? She needs to just sit and be because looking for meaning will only frustrate her. From this Peggy takes away Don’t think about the person I want to be, just be that person. Which satisfies her and for the first time in Fargo, we see a truly happy Peggy and not just the “positive thinker.” From that moment forth Peggy is freed from the trappings of her mind. Ed comes to get her and they take Dodd, tied up in the trunk, on a road trip to Ed’s cabin in the woods. Once there Peggy shocks trying-to-escape Dodd with his electric cattle prod and then they tie him to a cabin chair. Ed finds a payphone at the gas station to call the Gerhardts about Dodd.
On the phone with a Gerhardt lackey, Ed explains he’s the Butcher from Luverne and that he has Dodd but nobody of value comes to the phone. Dumbstruck Ed says he’ll call back later. Back at the cabin Dodd whines and wiggles while Peggy stirs beans on the stove. She tells him to be civil and he says go to hell so she stabs him until he can be polite. Then Peggy feeds him beans like a baby in a highchair. Ed comes home and sees the stab stains bleeding on Dodd’s chest so he chides Peggy to stab him less. If anybody else was in that chair we’d probably agree. But it’s Dodd. So, go ahead and stay stabby, Peggy.
Hanzee goes to a bar on the Blumquist’s trail and gets a glass of water with spit clearly floating on top. So, he asks for tequila – poured right in front of him. The bartender serves up some more racism but Hanzee remains stoic, even telling him about how he served in Vietnam, earning a Purple Heart and Bronze Star. Once outside three douchebag locals approach spewing more racist crap so Hanzee shoots them. Then he goes back in the bar and shoots the barkeep too. When the cops show up right away outside the bar, Hanzee pulls out a shotgun and blasts them too. Looks like he’s done with stoicism for the day.
Ed keeps calling the Gerhardts with no luck. Meanwhile Peggy watches a Ronald Reagan movie on TV, so enraptured that she fails to notice Dodd wiggling out of his ropes. Meanwhile Ed’s calls aren’t going well with the Gerhardt clan. He sees an article in the paper about the Gerhardt war with the Kansas City mob and gets an idea. Ed calls Mike Milligan to offer Dodd in exchange for getting the Gerhardts off his back. This thrills Mike and they set up a meeting for the next day. On the front page of Ed’s paper Ed we also see a picture of Hanzee and a headline about his shootout at the bar earlier and the manhunt for him. Right on cue, Hanzee drives up to the gas station and asks the cashier about Ed. The guy tells him Ed is down by the lake but then immediately regrets it when he sees the front page of the paper and Hanzee’s manhunt mug shot. The cashier then calls the police. So, now we know Hanzee heads toward an ambush.
Back at the cabin the now-free Dodd has set up a booby trap for Ed that catches him as he enters and leaves him hung from a ceiling beam by the neck. Dodd then lectures the struggling, dying Butcher of Luverne about his Peggy problems while Ed writhes – hands grasping at the rope around his neck trying to stay alive in a hangman’s noose. His face turns scarlet. Then Peggy crawls out from under the bed and stabs Dodd through the foot. She follows through with a fireplace poker to the back of the head. Peggy is a warrior. She frees the now unconscious Ed by chopping the rope. Ed’s “Peggy problem” saved his ass today. Together they hogtie Dodd and then Hanzee arrives. Loplop is face to face, creator and destroyer in one room.
Dodd tells Hanzee to shoot the Blumquists but Hanzee doesn’t listen. Instead Hanzee propositions Peggy for a haircut. Dodd calls Hanzee a half-breed. Hanzee ignore him and tells Pegy he wants a professional looking haircut, short and clean. Then Dodd says Hanzee needs to shut up and shoot them, calling him a mongrel. Hanzee reacts with a shot straight through Dodd’s temple. Then he sits down for Peggy to cut his hair. She gets him set and stands behind him ready to start cutting as Hanzee says he wants it professional because he’s “tired of this life.” But then suddenly Hanzee spies Hank and Lou stalking them outside and stands to shoot them through the window. Peggy drives the scissors into Hanzee’s back as he shoots. Then his gun runs out of bullets so Hanzee flees out the front door as Hank and Lou enter the back. Inside they find just Peggy and Ed, hands raised in defeat.
With “Lolop” the antagonism of the creator/destroyer dynamic plays out fully. At episode end, the hair stylist/artist/creator stabs the war torn destroyer in the back. The two can’t co-exist peacefully for long, especially not in a world like Fargo. It took a standoff with this much gusto to take out a larger-than-life character like Dodd. Peggy’s journey is the coolest things about this episode. All she ever wanted was a personal evolution, what she called “actualizing,” and in “Loplop” Peggy makes it happen. She saves Ed. She stabs dangerous men. Yes, the cops do end up catching the Blumquists in the end but the most important thing for Peggy is that she found herself before they found her. Peggy found out she’s a warrior. Hanzee, meanwhile went from a badass to a man at rock bottom who thinks a haircut could change the direction of his life.
–Katherine Recap
We were promised war at the end of the last episode and the third episode brings Sunny and M.K. to The Widow’s doorstep as Quinn leads his Clippers into battle. While Clippers fight elsewhere to take control of her oil fields, Quinn wants to take the battle directly to the enemy and marches into her house. Sunny takes down a variety of Bowler-wearing Clippers in the Widow’s service while her (girl assassins) whittle the number of Clippers down to size. That is all undercard action though as the main event features a sword fight between The Widow, who is buying time for her girl’s to escape, and Quinn.
Sparks literally fly as the two dance throughout The Widow’s great room matching each other blow for blow until Quinn finally manages to gain the upper hand. He is about to strike her dead when he is crippled by a headache, brought on by his tumor, and drops his sword. Sunny rushes in and in his haste to make sure his Baron is safe, The Widow manages to make her escape through a secret passage that had been opened by Tilda as she led the girls away from the fracas.
While Tilda was herding the girls through the passage, which was in The Widow’s study, she sees M.K. huddled behind a desk. He had been told to stay outside by Sunny with the other Colts but he snuck in to find anything he could about Azra. He had found a book on The Widow’s desk when the girls came running in. Tilda does not alert anyone to M.K.s presence but gives him a harsh look that says “you are really going to need to dazzle me if you expect me to go to the Clipper prom with you!”
Ryder is still unconscious from the Nomad ambush while his mother Lydia and his father’s eighth bride-to-be Jade (who is also Ryder’s secret lover) hover over him. Jade tries to play off her concern for Ryder as just impending family obligations. They are interrupted by the return of Quinn and what is left of his Clipper forces. Lydia and Quinn bicker over The Widow’s escape but really they are bickering about Ryder’s failure to recover from his assault. Something is wrong and there is no doctor that she can can call on since Quinn killed him last episode to ensure nobody would know about his brain tumor. Quinn just walks away from her and beds Jade while Lydia sits in the next room holding her dying son’s hand.
M.K. and Sunny look on as dead Clippers are carried back into The Fort when M.K. shows his mentor the book he stole from The Widow. Sunny is fed up with M.K.’s rebellious nature and M.K. is frustrated that Sunny won’t teach him how to fight. Sunny relents and takes him to see the wheelchair-bound Waldo. If M.K. can manage to strike Waldo then Sunny will train him however M.K. wishes but if he cannot then M.K. needs to… well you know how this works out. Despite being in a wheelchair the former Regent repeatedly flips, throws, and humiliates M.K. Sunny explains that you cannot underestimate any opponent.
Jade tells Quinn that she knows someone who can help Ryder but it is not going to be something Lydia is comfortable. Quinn says she will be fine with anything if it means that Ryder will recover. Jade goes straight to Veil, a childhood playmate, and asks her to help. Veil refuses, not wanting to get drawn into the politics of The Fort. Jade pleads with her and Veil, seeing the love for Ryder in her friend’s eyes agrees.
She explains that Ryder has suffered a head trauma and his brain is swelling. Lydia does not want a “cog doctor” working on her son — especially when she see the large drill bit that Veil is prepared to use to reduce that swelling. Faced with the possibility of Ryder being dead by nightfall, Lydia not only acquiesces but helps with the procedure. It is successful but it catches the attention of The Baron, who Veil knows killed her parents. Baron expresses his condolences and vows to catch the scum that killed them. He also tells her that he knows about her and Sunny’s relationship.
Ryder awakens and his father demands to know who set him up. He says it was Angelica, a girl from The Tick Tock Club. Quinn sends Sunny and M.K. to bring her back alive. Meanwhile that is exactly what The Widow is scared of as she and her girls arrive at a burned out mansion that will serve their hideout. She fears it is only a matter of time before Quinn sends someone after Angelica and she dispatches Tilda to go retrieve her before that can happen.
While Sunny is inside the club Tilda sees him as she approaches the club and punches M.K. They argue about who is worse Quinn or her mother while Sunny is inside fighting with Angelica who puts up much more of a fight than anyone else Sunny has faced in three episodes. Rather than let herself be taken by Sunny she hurls herself head first off the balcony to splatter right in front of M.K. and Tilda. M.K. tells her to run before she is spotted by Sunny.
Sunny and M.K. go to see Veil to patch up the wounds that Angelica inflicted upon him and Sunny realizes that the walls are closing in on him. Veil tells him that Quinn knows about their relationship and both M.K. and Veil begin to fill in the details of each other. Most important to M.K. are all the books in her office which means she can read the book that may contain clues about Azra.
Lydia scolds Ryder for not having the will of his father. She is aware that he attempted to kill The Widow and that it will bring a great cost to The Fort. She also tells him that he does not have what it takes to be his father’s heir and leaves him on his own. She will no longer fight for him. He is on his own. It turns out that by seizing The Widow’s oil fields Quinn has violated the Foundation Treaty and the other barons have demanded a parlay. Sunny suspects that it more likely an execution and Quinn agrees. He needs to forge an alliance with Jacobee, who “hates me less than he hates the others” and asks Sunny to approach Jacobee’s regent Zephyr.
Zephyr and Sunny are old flames and she tries to rekindle things with him but realizes from Sunny’s response that he is in love with someone else. She scoffs at the idea that he believes someone’s love can save him. She also scoffs at the idea of Quinn trying to forge an alliance with Jacobee and suggests that if Sunny were willing to clip Quinn that the other Barons would recognize his act. Sunny firmly rejects all her offers and she agrees to take the proposal back to Jacobee but does not expect it to be a fruitful discussion.
With Sunny out of The Fort, M.K. retrieves his book and goes to visit Veil, who practices out her mothering skills on the young boy with a bowl of hot food. He asks her to read the book but she does not recognize the language it is written in. They are interrupted by an unexpected visit from Quinn. M.K. slips out of sight but is able to overhear as The Baron asks Veil to save him like she saved his son.
[For “Ten Thirteen”or any other recaps on Fetchland, assume the presence of possible spoilers.]
HBO Summary:
Ten Thirteen Meg suffers a personal loss and heads out on a pilgrimage to Miracle; Tom seeks to reunite with Meg.
We’ve only seen Meg once before in Season Two but it was notably the most memorable scene thus far, which, considering that she only spoke six words in it, speaks volumes about the impact of her character. In that previous episode, Meg mounted tied-up Tom in the back of a van and then nearly set his gasoline-soaked bod ablaze before uttering those six words. In this episode Meg’s a cokehead and she’s always on the move. Seemingly unable to sit still, Meg takes many journeys in “Ten Thirteen” and throughout keeps sharing her mantra about how she’s about to change everything. It’s clear by the end of the episode that all these small journeys add up to one big power trip for coked-up Meg. The coke is only a symbol, of course. And because this is The Leftovers, it resonates through even the music that plays but resounds loudest in Meg’s ginormous ego, the classic cokehead signpost. Of course she’s going to solve all the problems of the world – along with every other coked-up fiend out there.
To kick off her second visit to Season Two we’re introduced to Meg as she snorts coke in a restaurant bathroom out to lunch with her mother on October 13th, the day before the Departure. But when she returns to the table from the bathroom her mother is laid out on the floor as waiters attempt to resuscitate her. Dead.
Then we see Meg with her fiancé on the way to Miracle as tourists two years after her mother’s death… and the Departure. Jarden had only been “Miracle” for a few months at that point, a newfound tourist attraction. Thus we get to see many of the mysteries of Miracle from a tourist perspective, the cracks in the road, manhole covers, Cecilia in her wedding dress, etc. all from the vantage point of a golf cart with talkative know-it-all headphones. Turns out Meg wants to visit the town prophet – the same guy John Murphy visited in Episode One. She wants to know what her mother was about to tell her before she left to go to the bathroom at that fateful lunch. Prophet tells her that no matter what he says she’s gonna be disappointed and then he tells her the anyway because she insists. Meg then lies to her fiancé and says the Prophet wasn’t the real deal. But not only was he real, he was right. Meg she cries later, thinking about it and clearly disappointed. While she cries Evie Murphy walks up to offer her a baby carrot because, “You can’t cry while you eat one. It’s impossible.” They sit side by side on the bench and Meg tells her the same knock knock joke that Evie told her father in Episode One. Before goodbye, Evie tells her she’s sorry Meg didn’t find whatever she was looking for in Miracle, “nobody ever does.”
The scene then shifts to Meg and her Guilty Remnant group stopping a school bus in the street. They drag out the driver and Meg enters the bus to pull the pin out of a grenade and place it on the floor then leaves a hoard of screaming children inside the locked bus. Meg’s next stop is an empty mansion where she sits before a trio of pissy Remnants. They aren’t happy about the school bus incident because of the kids. She says it’s no biggie because the grenade never went off. Meg tells them the Guilty Remnants need to step it up because people are forgetting about the Departure. They retort that they’re hearing rumors she’s planning her own action – a forbidden move. Meg lies and says she won’t. Then they tell her about Tom and say he’s taking away membership. They tell her to take care of him. She shows up at one of Tom’s gatherings and sits down to listen right as he offers healing hugs. Meg watches as he takes away the crowds pain one by one with hugs then approaches and hugs him along with the others. But Meg whispers in his ear that she can “do this for real.” Those Remnants always know when someone’s full of BS – gotta give them that.
Afterward Tom’s shaken and Laurie’s pissed at him for not showing up to their next event where she had to give everyone their money back for the absence of Tom’s healing hugs. He yells at her that they’re stealing people’s money. She says it’s working, people are getting better but Tom replies that it’s not working on him. They fight dirty. He leaves and goes to sleep on a playground with a bottle of whiskey for comfort. The next morning Tom goes to a Guilty Remnant workspace and screams, “Where the fuck is Meg?” After which he gets kicked in the stomach a few times before Meg appears. Tom says he wants her to “do it for real” and take his pain away. She says he’s just looking for a family and he says if he was looking for that he’d go to Miracle, Texas to see his Dad and sister. This delights Meg who then says she just happens to be headed there and in the next scene they drive there together. The Melle Mel 1983 song White Lines, which opens and closes the episode also plays as they drive to Miracle. It’s a true funk classic about cocaine. Originally the song was written about the glories of coke but then certain lyrics were added (including “don’t do it”) so that it blended with the mainstream just-say-no stance of the day. It’s Meg’s theme song. All about the wild ride of ruling over others with her inflated ego and such certainty that she doesn’t even need cocaine to get that rush anymore. Cult Leader/Cokehead – careers with virtually interchangeable benefits packages.
In the car on the way to Miracle Tom says he knows why she poured gasoline on him and said the six words but “why did she fuck him?” Meg pulls the car over without answering him. They stop off for a drink at a honky tonk. At the bar they talk about how they both lost their fathers when they were babies and drink while Tom looks increasingly uncomfortable and Meg stays at ease. He asks her what’s happening and then she kisses him. They dance and it’s clear that Tom’s getting hopeful she might take some of his pain away soon, even if it’s just via a journey to bonertown. But then Meg says she fucked him to get him pregnant and abruptly ends Tom’s his hope for bone privileges. They’re back out on the road soon after.
She drives into a Guilty Remnant cul de sac where some of her followers tell Meg there’s a “situation.” Apparently an interloper saw something but it’s just a biker dude who got off on the wrong path and doesn’t even know what he saw. Meg orders them to stone him anyway. We know from her earlier conversation with the pissy trio that the Guilty Remnants stone people regularly as a form of punishment so this is really happening. They take the interloper outside and stone him off camera. Tom doesn’t help, though Meg suggested it would make him feel useful. Later in the barn he hears yet again that Meg is going to “change everything”, from one of the Remnants – a broken record of a phrase when it comes to Meg. Then we see Meg drive out to the campgrounds outside of Miracle. She walks near the bridge and while Meg’s gazing at it Matt Jameson recognizes her. He’s surprised she’s talking and thus congratulates her on leaving The Guilty Remnant. Meg acts like that’s the case. She says Matt and her came to Miracle for the same reason, to be safe. “People in Miracle aren’t suffering,” she says, “So, they don’t need the Guilty Remnant.” Matt knows she’s lying now and says so. He knows it’s the anniversary of her mother’s death, October 13th. Ironically then, Matt apologizes to Meg for being her living reminder. This is often the declared Guilty Remnant goal – to serve as living reminders for the Departure. Meg gives him a creepy cult smile then and asks him what he’s waiting for… Miracle is right there and he’s not doing anything to get inside. What’s he waiting for? Then she tells Matt she knows. He’s waiting for her. Ominous in its simplicity and her certainty. Matt looks terrified.
The episode ends with a big reveal back at the Guilty Remnant cul de sac/farm. Tom explores in the dark night with just the crickets and snores to keep him company. He breaks open a locked van and inside finds Evie, dressed as a Guilty Remnant, surrounded by other Remnants, and writing on a notepad. Tom asks who she is and Evie writes, “It doesn’t matter,” then shuts the van door in his face. So, with the conclusion of “Ten Thirteen” we know Meg’s deal and Evie’s location. In fact, the other two girls can be seen nearby when Evie opens the van door. Mystery solved on the missing teens …only to be replaced forthwith the mystery of Meg’s plan. We know it involves the bridge into Miracle and it’s likely happening the very next day. We know that the Remnants believe it will Change Everything. The writers have done an incredible job building tension toward this event without giving us so much as a hint for what’s about to happen. Cliffhanger accomplished.
–Katherine Recap
Episode one was very much driven by men. The Fort is a bastion of male hierarchy where male Colts strive to become Clippers for their Baron and be rewarded with women; the Baron can take eight wives; and his first wife has to send out the invitations for his eighth wedding. Episode two starts out with the confident stride of the The Widow, in her thigh high boots atop six inch heels, across the floor of a club the likes of which we have not seen since STREETS OF FIRE (A ROCK & ROLL FABLE) where exotic dancers perform with power tools and the fate of Barons is discussed amidst befeathered escorts.
The Widow is there to meet with an embezzling former regent, Teague, and there is no love lost between them. Teague does not recognize her new title, disdainfully calling her Minerva, and she is upset that he stole from her. Each Baron seems to have a monopoly on some commodity and The Widow is able to maintain her power through her control of the oil fields. Teague does not expect that the other Barons will like being beholden to a woman. She implores him to join forces with her against Quinn who is the most stubbornly chauvinistic, assuring him the other Barons will fall in line after Quinn is gone.
Before the conversation can get very far Teague has his head split open with an ax hurled across the room. There are assassins everywhere but The Widow is a whirling dervish of knives and quite literally slices through all but one of them. She leaves one would-be assassin alive long enough to learn that Ryder hired the nomads to take her out. The Widow finishes him off with a heel through the throat proving her choice in footwear was fashionable and practical.
Meanwhile… M.K. is on the run after escaping The Fort and stumbles onto The Widow’s territory which is marked by her butterfly insignia. He spies Tilda hunting with shurikens shaped into that insignia and when she talks about her mother training her you know she is The Widow’s daughter. When Sunny, Ryder, and a group of clippers approach, Tilda offers M.K. sanctuary and brings him to meet the Widow.
It is a very special Thanksgiving episode of Into the Badlands with a tense family dinner between Quinn, Ryder, Sunny and Lydia with the full menu of resentment, secrets, and lies. They know M.K. escaped into The Widow’s territory but were not able to follow without it being seen as an act of war — not something that concerns Ryder who has already sent assassins her way. Quinn knows that somebody helped the boy escape and is much more concerned with that than the boy himself. Lydia knows that Sunny was the conspirator but is keeping that to herself for the time being. Quinn has heard about the attack on The Widow and obviously suspects that Ryder is behind it but everyone says the right things while working their best telenovela stares at each other.
The Widow walks in on M.K. taking a much needed warm bath and washes him while talking about her conspicuously absent son Percival. She explains that she is looking for a boy around M.K.’s age who was last seen at The Fort. The boy is special and she needs him to accomplish something great. She shows him a piece of paper with the symbol that was on his medallion but he feigns ignorance and assures her there is nothing special about him.
The Widow is looking to augment her forces and with Teague dead and M.K. hiding his light under a bushel she turns to nomads who she promises to give a territory to if they take down Quinn. The nomad leader is intrigued but they are skeptical about fighting alongside the female fighters that The Widow brings to the table. The Widow proposes a deal; if Tilda can defeat one of their nomads in combat they will join forces with her. If Tilda loses they can take her. It is not even remotely close to being a fair fight as Tilda makes short work of the nomad with throat punches, ball kicks, and finally a neck snap. The Widow has forged her alliance.
Quinn takes just Sunny beyond the walls of The Fort, where we get to see it’s curb appeal and hear his story of being a lowly “stunted grunt” whose father was beaten to death for stealing an extra corn cob without even raising a hand to defend himself. Quinn went to his Baron and asked to become a Colt and has not stopped killing since that day.
He takes Sunny on a covert trip to see Doc and his wife who turn out to be Veil’s adopted parents. Quinn gave them the girl when they could not conceive on their own after the doc saved Ryder’s life as an infant. Quinn gets some dire news about his headaches. He has a tumor and will be dead before too long. The doc assures him of discretion but Quinn cannot risk word of his weakness leaking out. He orders Sunny to go back into the house and “clip” the doc and his wife. Sunny refuses to do so but does not raise a hand to stop Quinn as he takes Sunny’s sword and does it himself.
Sunny does some soul searching as her cleans the blood of his girlfriend’s parents off his sword. He goes to talk to Waldo, an older wheelchair-bound clipper played by the great Stephen Lang, about the possibility of walking away from The Baron. He tells Veil that the Baron killed her parents and vows that her family is now him, her and their unborn child and they will be be leaving the Badlands.
The Widow knows that M.K’s powers only emerge when his blood has been spilled and she conscripts Tilda to train with him and cut him to prove that he is lying. As Tilda sits atop him with her blade he begs her not to cut him. He admits that he lied about his parents being dead and weakens her resolve by talking about finding her. They fake a wound and with The Widow watching from the next room it appears M.K. is not the special boy she is looking for.
Ryder falls into a trap when his prostitute shows off a brick of opium and claims she stole it from nomads who are holed up in an abandoned building with a large cache of it that they stole from Quinn. Now that The Widow does not believe M.K. has any special powers she gives him to the Nomads who are heading to execute the plan. Ryder and Sunny head to the warehouse but find only empty cases and rafters full of nomads. Ryder quickly ends up with a chain wrapped around his neck twisting from the ceiling. The nomads are gracious enough to lay out their plans; once Ryder and Sunny are dead, The Widow is going to take the fort and gut Quinn herself.
Sunny whittles the force down a half dozen nomads at a time and eventually cuts Ryder down. While he is paying attention to his Baron’s son he is caught from behind by the leader of the nomads and is in danger of being choked to death. Fortunately M.K. has escaped from the trunk of the car he was being held captive in — thanks to one of Tilda’s shurikens tucked in his pocket — and saves Sunny, killing the nomad from behind. He tells Sunny that he lied to him earlier and knows a way out of the Badlands.
Sunny and M.K. bring Ryder back to the fort and Quinn wants to crush his neck but Sunny asks to train him as his Colt. Sunny has never taken a Colt before and Quinn lets M.K. pledge his loyalty to him. He is going to need all the men he can find after all.
They are going to war against The Widow.
Lots of Fetchland readers already subscribe to services like Netflix, Amazon Prime, Hulu Plus, or even Marvel Unlimited.
… Which begs the question: When you have access to an almost limitless plethora of entertainment options, which ones should you pick?
“What’s Free Wednesday” is a weekly Fetchland feature spotlighting something great to read or watch available on one or more entertainment services. “Free” once you’ve paid for it, if you grok 🙂
Free on:
Netflix Summary:
Blink People are mysteriously vanishing in 2007 England while the Doctor is stranded in 1969, forcing him to send codes to a stranger in order to escape.
Note that I just picked the episode “Blink” (the 11th episode of the third series of the 2005 reboot) and not the entire span of Doctor Who available on Netflix and other formats.
Why?
Because “Blink” is just one episode; it’s just one hour — nay forty-three minutes — of your life. Just the current incarnation of Doctor Who — the re-launch post-2005 — is nine seasons series of commitment already, and that doesn’t count the spin-offs like Torchwood or Sarah Jane Adventures.
But what about those forty-three minutes?
They will be forty-three minutes well-spent.
“Blink” is hands-down the best episode of Doctor Who, and one of the finest single episodes of any television show, ever. It is scary, inventive, constantly surprising, and defies every trope of a long-established television formula.
Doctor Who is a show driven by a very peculiar character with a very specific set of abilities, his travels, and his companions.
That character is barely in the episode.
The Doctor is a time traveler, you see, and, off-camera somehow got stuck in 1969. He is able to communicate with the episode’s protagonist Sally Sparrow in 2007… Because he knows where she is going to be and what is going to happen later thanks to his mastery, and very long view of, time. He leaves her notes to duck because he knows that right after she reads the note a projectile will be flying towards her head. He leaves her Easter Eggs and half-conversations in old video clips because he knows when and where she will end up watching them, and even paces so she can have the other half of the conversation with him.
“People assume that time is a strict progression of cause to effect, but actually from a non-linear / non-subjective viewpoint it’s more like a big ball of wibbley-wobbly timey-wimey… stuff.”
-The Doctor
“Blink”‘s communication strategies encompass some of the most inventive uses of “time travel” in the history of the series, and allow Sally Sparrow — played by the widely celebrated Carey Mulligan — to both draw on the Doctor’s superior knowledge and stumble through the adventure like the neophyte she is… Almost as if writer Stephen Moffat cast the average viewer as one of the Doctor’s companions.
Sally, a seemingly unremarkable girl, is tasked with outmaneuvering the Weeping Angels in their first chronological appearance in the series. The Weeping Angels have since become maybe the most compelling, creepiest, villains on the show; and “Blink” and its elements were instrumental in cementing Moffat as the A-Plus-Number-One writer of the relaunched television program.
As “Blink” is only forty-three minutes I don’t want to give away too much of it, so instead I’ve conscripted Wizards of the Coast R&D member Gavin Verhey to talk about “Blink” (which I first recommended on my Five With Flores back in 2010). Here’s what Gavin had to say:
“‘Blink’ changed my life.
“Years ago, I watched some of the Doctor Who reissue… and it just didn’t stick. I had essentially written the show off.
“Then, after much convincing, my friends convinced me to watch ‘Blink’.
“I was blown away.
“The fun writing! The creative monsters! The clever use of time travel!
“And the most brilliant part: The titular character was barely involved so literally anybody could watch it out of context.
“It singlehandedly got me into the show, which in turn led to many new friends, experiences, and, of course, hours of entertainment then I would have ever had otherwise. If, like drivers ed, you had to take a class to get your permit for watching television, ‘Blink’ would be part of the syllabus. ‘Blink’ is as close as it comes to required-television-watching: you don’t have to watch Doctor Who, but you do need to watch ‘Blink’.
Out there is some universe where Gavin Verhey never watched ‘Blink’ and stayed away from the show — and I’m glad the Doctor showed up with a dose of time travel to correct this timeline… Even if it means I’ll never look at statues the same way again.”
This episode is jam-paked with awesome. If you look away you might miss something.
Don’t blink.
LOVE
MIKE
[For Scream Queens‘ “Thanksgiving” or any other recaps on Fetchland, assume the presence of possible spoilers.]
FOX Summary:
Thanksgiving Chad takes Chanel home for Thanksgiving, where she meets his family; another person dies.
The “Thanksgiving” episode opens on a bright note when Chanel tells Chad his worries are over. He doesn’t have to marry Hester after all. She’s dead now, thanks to Chanel. He says that’s totally hot and they need to go have sex by the body… a perfectly normal response in the world of Scream Queens where everybody always seems like the potential killer. They go to the meat locker to check out her hot dead bod but then Hester’s not there. Thus big trouble in Chad and Chanel’s tiny brain town begins.
Meanwhile at Gigi’s unrealistically chic apartment she preps for Thanksgiving with the Red Devil at her side. This Red Devil’s the one that had to kill Boone (their own brother) in the last episode. Gigi thanks them yet again for taking Boone out and saving her. Then she give her Red Devil buddy a quail she made them for Thanksgiving before they need to go out and do her bidding to kill again. Gigi says the Red Devil is the closest thing she has to family as she hands the, the electric knife to cut into the tiny quail body. Ominous music and lighting suggests that it’s not just going to be that quail and two million turkeys having a terrible Thanksgiving this year.
Chanel No. 3 goes home for Thanksgiving and it’s disappointing for her right from the start. Her family is the Swanson family, as in Swanson family dinners and that’s what they eat for turkey day… on TV trays in front of the TV. It’s all so appropriately dysfunctional and freakish that it starts to feel like a real Thanksgiving. Chanel No. 3 has a hissy fit because nobody has asked her about how several of her sort-of-friends have been killed back at school. She leaves in a huff. When she arrives back at the Kappa house Chanel No. 3 finds Dean Munsch making a turkey and they decide to celebrate Thanksgiving together with, turkey, the rest of the peeps in Kappa house, and charades.
Wes calls Grace and finds out she ended up not going to Zayday’s for Thanksgiving after all. Instead they’re staying at Kappa with Dean Munsch, No. 3, and whomever else is around. So, now Wes will be joining them as well. While waiting for the turkey to burn they play the fun game of who could the Red Devil be? Right off the bat, Dean Munsch accuses No. 3. Grace says she thinks the babies from the bathtub are the killers and since No. 3 is Charles Manson’s daughter adopted by the Swanson family she can’t possibly also be one of the bathtub babies. No. 3 then retorts that she believes Dean Munsch is the Red Devil killer. Then Chanel No. 5 shows up at the Kappa house just in time to hear No 3’s argument about how Dean Munsch is a murderer. Grace and Zayday seem to agree and both make equitable arguments. This includes the unsurprising fact that Dean Munsch isn’t actually allergic to bologna and thus could very well have killed her ex husband after all. Why the writers chose to waste our time with this fact we already knew, I’m not sure but maybe it was to try to distract from the incredibly unrealistic notion that Wes would accuse Grace of being the killer – especially without at least talking to her privately about it first.
That’s what happens next when Wes offers theory, accusing his own daughter, Grace. This, of course, results in every person exchanging shocked glances across the extravagantly long Kappa Thanksgiving table. Wes actually has some good arguments for Grace being the killer but then he claims he was just spitballing and making sure it wasn’t her. He’s so relieved to hear her “reasons” for the suspicious behavior he mentions. Hey, Wes, in the future maybe ask her about these kinda things without several snarky witnesses watching. Seems like the least you could do for your own daughter. At this point Pete barges inw ith a box of “evidence” and interrupts their killer pow wow to say he actually knows who the killer is and Wes is right, it’s not Grace. It’s Wes! Pete then tells his Wes-is-the-killer story to a spellbound crowd of Kappas… Including DNA evidence that Wes is Boone’s father. Wes is surprised to hear this about Boone but also says hey it could be possible because it was the 90s so nobody was wearing condoms in those days. After this eye-opening and pretty hilarious convo Grace takes Wes aside in private and tells him she believes that he’s not the killer and will stand beside him. Nobody is going to the police with any of the info about anybody, she promises.
Next we see Chanel and Chad at the Radwell Thanksgiving where everyone is thankful for being rich and fancy. Chanel gets a little competitive with them about how special and old money her family is but the Radwell’s are impenetrable in their insistence of superiority. In fact, as they go around the table every member of the Radwell family takes a turn to brag about their amazing lives and thus how incredibly grateful. Until suddenly a surprise guest shows up – Hester! She’s braced to the gills, dressed to impress, and worst of all… alive. But Hester doesn’t fool anybody with her false claim of Chad-related pregnancy and sits down at the table, abashed in EPIC FAIL.
Chad’s father then offers Chanel $50K to disappear and says her ostrich feather dress means she’s trash no matter how much money she claims her family has. Meanwhile Chad shows off his aspic to Hester and then Chanel interrupts to yell at him about his dad’s offer. Chad says maybe Chanel should take it because, after all she said Hester was dead… so obviously she’s some kind of liar… and thus not right for Chad. But Chanel stays and then they all play for the a horrific, humiliating round of Pictionary in which the Radwell’s nitpick Hester with a mocking so cruel even Chanel is offended. She becomes protetctive of her sorority sister and indignant. So, Chanel then rips those Radwell’s all new ones. “No woman in her right mind would want to be part of this family,” she declares. Then she and Hester leave together, united in a sisterhood bond so tight it could only be shared by the exes of the same lame boyfriend. After this the two storylines unite when Chanel and Hester join the Kappa House for Thanksgiving dinner.
When the turkey is about to come out the Dean asks Wes if Gigi will be joining them and he says he has no idea where she is. Then Chad joins them (just cause he wants more turkey) at the long Kappa table. So, they’re all seated together for the big reveal. Chanel pulls the silver dome off the main course tray and they all shriek at once Scream Queens style when instead of a turkey as their entree they’re presented with Gigi’s dead grey head.
After all this hooplah and alleged evidence it’s starting to seem like maybe Pete’s actually the killer. At the Kappa Thanksgiving Killer Accusathon everybody except Zayday and Pete got accused, though Zayday has certainly already held plenty of the blame in previous episodes. Also there’s the issue of his timing. Pete always shows up late to everything but somehow still knows what’s going on. And he could totally be Boone’s bro. If you think back to the early episodes we know that Pete conveniently happens to own the red devil suit – remember? And who has more motivation to buddy up like a puppy dog to Grace, the girl who’s investigating? That way he can stay close to the evidence, adding and editing as he likes to help throw off the scent from his stabby murdering self.
On another note, we really missed Denise in this episode! Please bring back our favorite former security guard. She brings a delightful levity to the show that was absent this week, especially with the nasty battle axe bitches we experienced in Chad’s family gathering this week. Com back, Denise! It’s not the same without you on Scream Queens.
Katherine Recap
[For Fargo “Did You Do This? No, You did it!” or any other recaps on Fetchland, assume the presence of possible spoilers.]
FX Summary:
Did You Do This? No, You did it! Lou and Hank investigate in Fargo; The King of Breakfast visits Betsy and Molly; Floyd is summoned away; and Bear questions a family member’s loyalty.
Episode seven, “Did You Do This? No, You did it!” forges forth with the war’s battles, repercussions, power shifts and blunt conversations. It feels like a brilliant chess match in which every player underestimates their opponent. Everyone except the lone wolves, Lou Solverson and Mike Milligan. They’re far too smart for that classic mistake.
We open on Kansas City Mob and Gerhardt family members battling in a creative montage of war scenes: window washers with machine guns, a strangler skulks at a bar, and someone drowns via toilet swirly. These murderous portraits intercut with scenes where pine-boxed Rye and Otto are buried in their backyard. Bear didn’t attend this bare-bones-brand Gerhardt funeral but shows up at the end with news of the war for Floyd. It’s about even, he tells her, but Kansas City got South Carolina from them… big time bummer. Simone then mouths off to Floyd and gets slapped when she claims Dodd shits and sleeps like any other man. Floyd doesn’t abide that kinda talk. Then the cops come and take Floyd to the station for questioning. They waited for the funeral to end – all polite like. Lou asks Bear Dodd’s whereabouts and he replies that Dodd found Jesus and joined a monastery. Lou laughs Bear’s answer off… without laughing, of course.
At the police station cops chat behind the double sided mirror while Floyd awaits them in the interrogation room. They say they’ve got APBs out on Ed and Peggy. It’s all a muddle to them. Then they’re questioning her and Hank asks Floyd, “How far does it go?” referring to the tennis match of murder between the KC mob and the Gerhardts – lobbing back and forth, one dead right after the other. She tells him the Gerhardt’s backs are to the wall. Hank asks if there’s anything she can tell him to help him get the Kansas City Crew, weaknesses and such.
Simone does coke and drives to Mike’s hotel. He’s currently on the phone with his boss, Hamish, who’s pissed about the window washers killing three of his people. “Two days and he’s sending The Undertaker,” Hamish threatens. Then Simone enters the room pissed that Mike killed her grandfather rather than her Dad. What’s the diff? Mike replies, but in a much more articulate way – referencing Shakespeare and such. Simone remains unimpressed, “Are we gonna talk or are you gonna keep quoting a thesaurus at me?” Then the real shit hits the fan when Lou comes in with the wimpy Fargo detective just in time to stop the Kitchen Brother from compromising Simone. Lame detective takes Simone out so that it’s just Lou and Mike Milligan alone in the hotel room. Standoff time. Lou and Mike are equally matched in a war of words, fully understanding each other which results in no movement forward or back between them – a draw. Lou leaves after telling Mike he’ll likely shoot first and ask questions later next time they meet.
In the elevator with Lame Detective Simone knees him in the nuts, says she’s done lying down for men and goes out to the parking lot just as Bear drives up. He tells her he’ll give her a ride and the guy in his passenger seat will drive her car back home. So, Simone’s got no choice but to join Bear in his truck. During the drive she’s nervous, then righteous then nervous again – like she’s anticipating, experiencing, and then grieving her own death ahead of time. Bear parks in the middle of nowhere; a field of nothingness, snow, and the cawing of a crow. He walks her far far out between skinny naked trees while Simone pleads her case. He says the only reason the Gerhardt’s are losing the war is because of her – the deaths of her uncle and grandpa are on her. Simone retorts that it’s all Dodd’s fault because he wouldn’t let Floyd negotiate. On her knees she begs him to banish her rather than shoot but Bear says there is no family anymore and to hush now, it’s already done. He points the gun at her and then the camera pans away so we don’t see if he shoots. We hear the song “Oh Danny Boy” rather than any hint to what happened. After Bear returns to his truck he smashes his cast off his arm on the hood and then drives home – stoic. Did she escape? Did he shoot her? Was she banished? We don’t know.
Back at the police station Floyd decides to flip and tell all about the Kansas City mob. She says they gotta promise no repercussions for her kids or grandkids… then tells them all about the Kansas City operation weak spots, where they stash weapons and so on. When she comes out of the station Floyd orders Bear to find Dodd and Hanzee. Watching her leave, Lou tells the wimpy Fargo detective it seems like they just chose a side. Then Hank comes up to them and says he just got word Hanzee shot two cops up in South Dakota while trailing Ed and Peggy. Lame Detective says they’ll likely just have to let those police officer deaths slide since they just struck that Gerhardt deal with Floyd. So, Lou points out to him that he’s a shit cop. Wimpy detective mumbles about how he’s about to get promoted but it’s evident that Lou’s accurate yet again. Bear then drives Floyd home and as they arrive at the Gerhardt estate she says she wants to apologize to Simone – awkward. Then Hanzee’s on the phone saying he found Dodd. So, Bear’s saved by the bell for the moment.
Betsy comes home to find some strange boots at the front door and loads a shotgun before lurking around holding it ready until she eventually finds Karl Weathers making eggs and pancakes with his friend Sonny in her kitchen. Turns out he’s the Breakfast King of Loyola. Lou calls and Betsy reminds him she really doesn’t need looking after. He knows he knows… but he worries is all. Later on Betsy asks Karl to look after Lou and Molly when she’s gone and implies that it’s likely she’ll be gone soon. She insists that Karl tell Lou that if he needs to get married again it’s OK, just not to Rhonda because her eyes are too close together. Make sure Lou feeds Molly more than jerky and also, Karl Weathers, stop drinking, at least not during breakfast anymore. He says Ok and they hug. Then Betsy goes by Hank’s house to feed his cats. She finds a secret room full of mysterious symbols drawn on paper posted everywhere. Some of the symbols have definitions underneath and some are just plain – there are hundreds, so they cover nearly every inch of the room. Betsy just opened a door to Hank’s secret obsession and it appears to be UFO-related because many of the symbols have UFO connotations. What must Betsy be thinking? But more importantly, what the heck’s up with Hank?
Right after Floyd spills the Kansas City beans at the station Mike Milligan gets a phone call that, “The Undertaker’s coming. You’re done.” So then The Undertaker shows up, a fossil of a man in an 1800s style suit with two flunkies at his side. It’s a slow and ominous ride up the elevator for them but what they don’t know is their target’s perfectly prepped for their arrival. Mike’s ready and waiting like a human booby trap in his deep purple blazer and bolero tie. When they enter the suite he blasts them without warning. All three go down in unison, their blood staining the wall in three red splatter balls where each stood for only a millisecond. Mike’s hotel room phone rings then and he answers with a blood-covered hand. It’s Ed Blomquist telling Mike he’s, “Got Todd Gerhardt in the trunk of my car. You want him?”
Episode seven is packed with unexpected wonder, especially the kind that resonates when humans are faced with their own inevitable death. Betsy and Simone are particularly sublime examples of this. Both live on for us at this particular moment in the story of Fargo but we expect to find out they’re dead any minute… just as they do within the narrative. But the most glorious aspect of this episode is how satisfying the ending feels even with all the unanswered questions. That’s likely because of our resolute relief that Mike Milligan remains alive – we would miss him most of all! And then there’s the divine, palm rubbing relish of imagining the macho douchebag, Dodd sweating it out in Ed Blomquist’s trunk. That image has got us whistling all the way to the water cooler.
–Katherine Recap
