I have been wanting to make these for a while now but my wife is adamantly anti-blondie. No need to waste that baking energy when you could be making chocolate brownies instead has always been her stance.

But I had this idea for a blondie that would replace the normal chocolate chunks with the array of flavors and textures you get in a box of See’s Candies to really create a special holiday baked treat. I reached out to my cookie consultant Amie and she loved the concept but was worried it would be too sweet between the blondie and all that candy.

“Have you considered using white miso paste in your blondie?”


I did a test run about a week ago and was thrilled with the result. My wife was even a convert. The umami of the miso was just the perfect counterpoint to all the sweetness going on with everything else. It was time to make the next batch and add in the See’s.


1 stick unsalted butter
1 cop tightly packed brown sugar
3 tbs. white miso paste
2 tsp. pure vanilla extract
1 beaten egg
1 cup all-purpose flour
1/2 tsp. baking powder
1/8 tsp. baking soda
1/2 tsp. salt

1 cup chopped See’s Candies
(You can really use anything you want here from nuts to chocolate chunks to dried fruit.)

1 buttered and floured 8 x 8 baking tin

Preheat your oven to 350 degrees

Brown the butter in a sauce pan and when it turns golden brown and smells nutty, remove it from the heat and add the brown sugar, miso and vanilla. Stir to combine and set it aside to come to room temperature. Once it has cooled, add the beaten egg and stir until combined.

Add that to the remining dry ingredients and stir until it all the flour mixture is incorporated. Lightly stir in the See’s Candies.

Pour the mixture into the greased baking tin and put it in the oven for 27 minutes or until the edges look brown and crispy and a toothpick inserted comes out cleanly (try to find a spot without any candy chunks for this).

Let it cool and cut into sixteen 2×2 squares.

Mushroom Mac and Cheese Wellingtons

Posted by Brian David-Marshall | Food, Uncategorized

Sometimes you get an idea stuck in your head and have no idea how it got lodged there in the first place. That happened to me recently when I found myself thinking about “macaroni and cheese wellingtons” and no idea what sparked the thought. I recently made individual beef wellingtons so that does explain how there came to be an extra box of puff pastry in my freezer but still fails to explain the impulse to stuff it with mac and cheese.

So I made them the other day for a Sunday dinner and they turned out to be something I am going to be asked to make again at Thanksgiving — and at random craving intervals as dictated by my aforementioned better half. I leaned heavily into mushrooms to connect them to the idea of the duxelle that is often found in Wellingtons but you can go whatever way you want with the filling.


2 pound of penne pasta (you will have leftover mac and cheese and you will be happy about it.)

3 pounds of your favorite mushrooms (I used cremini and shiitake for this)
2 cloves of garlic
salt and pepper
several sprigs of fresh thyme
Oil for sautéing

1 quart of milk
1 stick of butter
1/2 cup of AP flour
pinch of cayenne pepper
pinch of nutmeg
salt and pepper

5 or 6 cups of freshly grated cheese (I used emmental and parmesan for mine)

1 package of thawed puff pastry
1 egg
1 tablespoon of water
salt and pepper

How to make it:

Cook the pasta in heavily salted water to a little short of al dente, tougher than you would serve it, since it is going to cook again in the oven later. I would say 5-6 minutes is a good estimate. drain and set aside.

Slice and sautee your mushrooms with some minced garlic and fresh thyme. No matter how much you have in the way of fresh muhrooms it is going to feel like you want more when they are cooked down. You can definitely up the mushroom ratio. Toss with cooked pasta and set aside.

Begin heating one quart of milk over low heat. Do not let it come to a boil. You just want it warmed through so you are not adding cold milk to the roux. In another saucepan melt six ounces of butter over medium heat and add the 1/2 cup of flour. Stir with a wooden spoon. You want the flour to cook in the butter but not brown. When it starts to bubble it is ready for the milk. Throw in the nutmeg and cayenne and then add the milk while whisking. Cook until the mixture has thickened for two to three minutes. Remove from the heat and add the shredded cheese and stir until it melted in. Add salt and pepper to taste.

Butter the sides and bottom of a casserole dish with the remaining butter. Toss the macaroni and murshroom mixture with the cheese sauce and pour that into the baking dish. Refrigerate for at least four hours until the dish has firmed up and you can slice it into bricks. I actually divided my mac and cheese over two baking dishes so I could use one up for the wellingtons and froze the larger remaining one for Thanksgiving (when it may just be converted into Wellingtons again). You want the bricks to be around the size of a thick filet mignon — maybe 3 inches wide, 5 inches long and 2-3 inches thick.

Roll out your thawed puff pastry (you really want to look for one that is just made with butter and not other shortenings. I love Dufour Classic Puff Pastry which is always on hand at Whole Foods and online as well as a couple of other local markets) and slice it into four even sections. On each section diagonally place a brick of the mac and cheese. Brush the edges of the pastty with an egg beaten with one tablespoon of water to act as the glue. Fold up the corners to completley envelop the brick. There should be no gaps for cheesey goodness to escape during cooking.

Place the sealed bricks on a parchment or silpat lined baking sheet and brush the exterior with the remaining egg wash. I then added some flaked sea salt and cracked black pepper to the top. Set your oven to 400 degrees and chill the pastries in the refrigerator until it comes to temperature. You want the pastry to be cold and it will have warmed up some in the handling.

Bake for 22 to 25 minutes until gold brown and dry to the touch. I served mine with a fresh arugula salad.

Breakfast Pasta Achieved

Posted by Brian David-Marshall | Food, Uncategorized
Breakfast Pasta Achieved!

A couple of days ago I found myself in the throes of an idea. One Sunday later I managed to extricate myself through brunchery.


1 package of orzo pasta
4 oz of diced pancetta
1/2 large sweet onion diced
1 1/4 quart chicken stock
3 or 4 Calabrian chiles minced
1/2 cup grated parmesan cheese
large handful of Italian parsley chopped
6 large eggs
4 tbs butter
Panko bread crumbs
1/4 cup pine nuts
More parmesan

Preheat oven to 375

Simmer chicken stock over medium heat (I added parmesan rinds to mine) and reserve warm. In a deep saute pan crisp up the pancetta over medium-high heat. Remove pancetta and reserve on a paper towel lined plate. Add diced onion to pancetta fat, (don’t forget to salt and pepper) and sautee until onion is transcluscent. Add the orzo to pan and toast the pasta, keeping it moving with wooden spoon, until it smells slightly nutty. Begin adding the warm chicken stock in three or four batches, only adding more as the previous broth has been absorbed into the pasta. Continue adding broth until the pasta is slightly slightly chewier than al dente. Remove from heat and stir in butter, pancetta, chiles, parmesan, and parsely.

Butter a casserole dish and add the orzo mixture. Using the bottom of a ladle make six depressions in the orzo and break an egg into each divot. Make sure to salt and pepper each egg. Bake in the over for 15 minutes or until egg white has gotten opaque but the yolks are still runny.

Individual version heading into the oven…

To serve use a large spoon to scoop gently under each egg. You can also make these in indivudual baking dishes. If you do, don’t forget that the dishes will be scaldingly hot when you serve.


I mixed toasted pine nuts and breadcrumbs with some chopped parsely and grated parmesan and topped the perimeter of each egg once it was out of the oven.


[For Arrow 100, “Invasion!” or any other recaps on Fetchland, assume the presence of possible spoilers.]

The CW Summary:
“Invasion!” Oliver Queen wakes up to a life where he never got on The Queen’s Gambit.

The 100th Episode of Arrow was many things: Part homage, part heartstring-tugging spectacle, part nostalgia piece… But most of all, center episode of the “Invasion!” crossover.

At the end of the opening “Invasion!” episode of The Flash, we saw five human heroes teleported onto a Dominator alien ship. The five heroes — Arrow, Speedy, Atom, White Canary, and Spartan — spend Arrow 100 sharing a collective dream, plugged into a Dominator computer.

“For the Man Who Has Everything”

The shared dream sees Oliver Queen on the eve of his wedding to — you guessed it — Dinah Laurel Lance. The resplendent Laurel is alive and well in the dream, as are both of Ollie’s parents. Noteworthy to this dream is that everyone is proud of the man Ollie has become (even Captain Lance). Oliver’s dad is about to become the mayor of the city. He asks Ollie to take over as CEO of Queen Consolidated, lest the board support a buyout from one Ray Palmer.

It seems like Ollie has everything a boy billionaire could want: A beautiful Laurel. The love of his family. A CEO job waiting. “You have everything. Stop trying to throw it all away.”

Arrow 100 is a light homage to Alan Moore’s great “For the Man Who Has Everything” (incidentally BDM‘s favorite Superman story of all time). Superman — who dreams of living a very different life on an unexploded Krypton in the Moore story — is Ollie here. But the whole thing is a lie. The Dominators want to present a perfect life to the five non-metahumans to keep them docile in the ship; very The Matrix, even.

When Ollie and Dig first show signs of freedom and recognition, the dreamscape fights back. Deathstroke — fully masked and certainly not Manu Bennett — bursts onto the scene and attacks them with swords. Ollie and Dig hold him off admirably (given it’s fists-against-falchion) until Sara disarms Deathstroke from offscreen and stabs him to death.

This prompted some discussion on Twitter.

I think it’s obvious that White Canary — even promoted to her starring role on DC’s Legends of Tomorrow — is not realistically a match for Deathstroke. This was dream-Deathstroke, and not even Manu Bennett! We actually know how a Sara-versus-Slade confrontation would go (Sara onced jumped Deathstroke and was tossed aside effortlessly).

The Fight

The trio gather Ray, but initially fail to recruit Thea to leave the dream. What’s so great about the real world, she perhaps rightly asks. Maybe, speculates Thea, this dream where Laurel and their parents are still alive, and the Queens are still billionaires, is Ollie’s reward for all the sacrifices he’s made.

Except Ollie didn’t make any of those sacrifices for a reward. He did it all because it was right.

Ollie &co. move to leave the Queen wedding compound but are confronted by the Big Bads of the previous seasons. Malcom Merlyn. Deathstroke. Damian Darkh. (and some randos) Conspicuous by his absence: Ra’s al Ghul.

Thea has a change of heart and engages dear old dad.

Sara pairs off against Darkh this time, avenging a sister still alive in the dreamworld.

Ollie gets Deathstroke.

The fight scene is pretty great. Thea kills her dream-dad with a sword and takes his bow, shooting an arrow at Sara. Sara catches the arrow out of the air and uses it to stab Darkh. Ollie finishes the fight with the bow, which he uses to finish off Deathstroke. (Ray and Dig kill the randos with some guns. Whatevs.)


Could Sara have beaten Deathstroke? To be fair, it was three-on-one (one of whom was Ollie). Ollie could not only beat Deathstroke, but Year Minus Three Ollie on Lian Yu killed a Mirakuru-powered Deathstroke, cleanly. Why does Deathstroke only have one eye? Ollie stabbed him “to death” through the other one. Ollie of course completed Season Two with a very pyrrhic win over Slade with another clean win. But Sara? Probably not.

Could Speedy have beaten Merlyn? While it is possible that Merlyn would “let” his daughter win, I don’t think that dream-Malcolm not throwing a death match would likely lose to Speedy. Merlyn is sub-Ollie, but still ascended to Ra’s al Ghul. Remember, Nyssa was not considered his equal (Ollie had to fight Merlyn in her place, taking Merlyn’s hand). Unless you think Thea is substantially more dangerous than Nyssa, this win is equally the product of a dream as Sara killing Deathstroke.

Could Sara have beaten Darkh? I think so. Regular Darkh (i.e. not Diviner Darkh) was “just” an assassin (not the equal to Merlyn); same as Sara. Sara is depicted as having grown through her many trials, while Darkh is depicted as increasingly reliant on magic or powerful allies like Reverse Flash.

Could Ollie have beaten Deathstroke? Sure. Especially in the dreamworld.

The heroes escape the Dominators’ dream, stealing an alien spaceship. They are persued by dozens of others, but are saved at the last minute by the Waverider, leading into the “Invasion!” conclusion on DC’s Legends of Tomorrow.

Until tomorrow.

To be continued…


Final Three: Nicole – Paul – James

Part One Final HOH winner: Paul
Part Two Final HOH winner:

Part Three between Paul & Nicole: live on Wednesday night

Paul to Nicole on September 20th, You and I are the same, except you’re a girl and I’m crazy. 


Chatting about the other houseguests

In the afternoon of September 20th, Paul and Nicole talk about Victor and it’s super cute. She tells Paul about how when Vic came back into the house he immediately asked Nicole if her and Corey’s “relationship flourished” like some kind of grandpa inquiry. Paula and Nicole also analyze and criticize Victor’s social game. It just wasn’t good enough for the game, they think. Vic was starting to lose it at the end with how messy people are in the house and got harder for him to hide his annoyance. We can see how this is true… though we still adore our Puerto Rican Sensation.


James playing mind games

They have yet another conversation and Nicole explains to Paul that Corey and James were really close. This was why Corey was so surprised when James voted him out over Nicole. It was the whole Texas bro bond the duo had… but they kept it kinda quiet from everyone else. Nicole said she ONLY knew because she was uber tight with Corey. After they’ve talked a long time Nicole gets quiet and decides to try on her potential show outfits, one of which is our feature photo above. It’s vintage and fits Nicole’s whole “grandma chic. But Nicole isn’t happy with how it fits her body. She’s probably just focused on this because clothes are something she can control unlike everything else ahead in the next day or so… but, of course, James chalks it up to “bein a girl,” because misogyny.


Paul puts on his paranoid pants

Speaking of James, he gets under Nicole’s skin on September 20th simply by acting uber cheerful. “What’s he so happy about?” Nicole worries aloud. She starts to wonder if James is so confident and chipper because Paul said he’ll take him to final two. The paranoia is strong in this one. So Nicole tells Paul she needs some alone time and talks to herself about if she’s making the right choice taking Paul. Thus, we’re at the finish line and this one’s undecided. Oh well, at least it gets the tension up a bit. Lack of certainty can be fun – right? Paul doesn’t think so.  He senses Nicole’s seismic shift and ponders it long after the other two are asleep. Thus, the lights dim on a terrified trio, destined to wake up and spend their very last day playing Big Brother season 18. Finale night lies directly ahead and we don’t care what anybody wears… we just want Paul to win it all.

– Katherine Recap

Daily BB House Stats:
HOH – Victor
HOH Nominated – Natalie, James
Veto Winner – Corey
Evicted – #1 Jozea #2 Victor #3 Bronte #4 Tiffany #5 Frank #6 Da’vonne #7 Zakiyah #8 Bridgette #9 Paulie #10 Victor #11 Michelle

High drama in the Big Brother house September 6th! At a bit after midnight (about twenty minutes) Victor and Paul play pool in the backyard while Natalie and James chat in the hot tub. Suddenly a bombastic sound emanates across the plastic grass… a bullhorn/loudspeaker. Five times the megaphone tells the backyard houseguests that James and Nicole had a preseason alliance. The look on Natalie’s face = priceless. Meanwhile Paul and Victor appear to have heard it too. Let the games begin!


James on the outskirts

But instead of this leading to Nicole and James on blast, Natalie gets the shaft. The feeds go out for us but after they come back we find out that James tried to make Natalie feel badly then trashed her to the others. Meanwhile all Nat really did (in this instance) was hear the bullhorn. James turns on her to distract from what the bullhorn said – which incriminates his ass hardcore if she focuses in on it. James goes to sit with the others (n the awkward outskirts of their comfortable conversation group. He shit-talks Nat and says he’s struggled to “keep it together for 80 days,” as if she’s been torture for him in the house. But we’ve all seen how happy he was with her, including the other houseguests. Later when James hashes it out with her, Natalie (correctly) says she never threw him under the bus. In fact, she even made herself, “look like an asshole campaigning for you to stay to Paul and Victor,” which is true. Apparently when James went off on her he dug deep and even accused Natalie of being with several other guys in the house before settling on him as the dregs, a last choice type thing. After this he claims he just wanted to apologize for lashing out at her but is getting nowhere. Natalie has flaws like the rest of us but she’d not as dumb as she pretends. She heard the bullhorn.


James talks to an angry pile of blankets

Many times over the summer Natalie asked James about his alliances other than with her and he’s always said there weren’t any with Nicole. In fact, he usually likes to immediately change the topic to their personal relationship. James does this time and time again. As the wee hours of the early morning are upon them, James tells the back of Natalie’s head he wants to talk about their personal relationship rather than game. Blah blah blah follows from there. I pushed you away because I’m afraid, etc. and they both speak in the past tense about, “I really liked you,” and “I really liked you too,” until it seems like maybe Natalie has fallen asleep and James is pouring his heart out to the back of a pissy cheerleader’s head. But then Natalie turns to look at him so we see she’s listening after all. James claims their personalities don’t match so well because he wants to talk stuff out and she wants to avoid relationship stuff with him. She’s been blocking her feelings, James says and, “I haven’t been blocking shit,” nervous giggle. Yeah, no kidding James. Everybody freakin’ knows about how you slipped in the ‘L’ word.


James realizes he’s screwed either way

What we didn’t get to see on the feeds, though, were the specifics of how James lashes out at Natalie right after the bullhorn incident. He hurt her feelings, she says and his strategy works for awhile as far as creating a distraction from what the bullhorn said. But Natalie does bring it up at about four in the morning saying that if it’s true what the bullhorn said she’d be really sad that he lied to her. He keeps insisting it’s not true about him and Nicole… Seems like James feels pretty guilty too because he says dumb stuff about how she can “cut off one of his fingers after the show is over,” as if that’s consolation. If you haven’t got an alliance with Nicole, what’s the finger for, James? He asks Natalie if they’re broken up many many times and she only ever replies that she doesn’t know. So, James tells Nat she better let him know their relationship status in the next twenty four hours because one of them is leaving and he won’t know if he’s single or not. The horror.

More interesting fallout will follow if it turns out Paul and Victor heard the bullhorn, believe what it said, and win HOH next. If all those circumstances fall into place, it might just be Nicole and James up on the block next week. And if you look at our featured photo this week in which you can see quite clearly that Natalie DEFINITELY heard the bullhorn while Victor and Paul stand right beside her… Well, dreams can come true, folks! Stay tuned to Fetchland.com for all the imminent dramatics because CBS most likely won’t show the bullhorn incident or explain its dramatic backlash on the TV show.

Katherine Recap

Daily BB House Stats:
HOH – Natalie
HOH Nominated – Paul, Victor
Veto Winner – TBD
Evicted – #1 Jozea #2 Victor #3 Bronte #4 Tiffany #5 Frank #6 Da’vonne #7 Zakiyah #8 Bridgette #9 Paulie
Battle Back Winner – Victor
Return Ticket Holder – Paul
Have-Nots – Victor, James
Have-Not Supplement – TBD


Meech and Nat discuss nominations

The beginning of August 19th feeds brought America’s care package into Meech’s grateful hands. This wasn’t an ideal scenario exactly because Victor, our hero,  isn’t safe this week… yet. There’s always the Veto, which could be twisted into yet another nickname for Victor if you look at it cockeyed enough. But at least Michelle’s co-HOH ends up bringing lots of excitement to the house with drama, scheming surprises, and even some fighting. Natalie seems genuinely pleased to share the bloody gloves with her buddy Meech and thus they decide to make an unexpected move together.


Nicorey celebrating the nominations

Everyone expects Nat and Michelle to nominate Corey and Nicole and it makes sense, especially after they spend most of August 19th chatting it up with Victor and Paul. Right after Paul and Victor exit the HOH room, though, it’s time for plotting against them – Paul specifically. Michelle and Natalie decide to put up Paul and Victor. They have a few reasons, most of which they never tell the pair after nominations. For instance, Natalie keeps saying she thinks that in the scenario of Nicorey on the block Corey will win Veto and Nicole will end up going home. Nat says she doesn’t want to be responsible for “a girl going home” given that she’s all about girl power. Also, they both believe Paul is a threat and needs to go home. He’s been manipulative, lying, and all-around sketch. So, they forewarn Victor and tell him he’s just a pawn. After noms Nicorey meet in the storage room to celebrate with jumping and hand moves.


Right after nominations Paul gets feisty

Right after they tell Vic the plan it’s time for nominations. So, Victor has zero time to warn Paul. The resultant fireworks after the ceremony are FUN and end up flipping the house yet again. Paul confronts everybody and keeps saying that they could have just said, “You’re gonna win this game so I’m putting you on the block,” and that would have been fine but they called him a liar. So, now he wants to talk about it. Funny thing is that the whole time Michelle and Natalie were chatting before noms they kept saying they could totally see Paul winning the game.  Then the whole shebang ends up in the late night hours of August 19th with that particular fear brought to fruition. Paul most likely IS going to win it. He talked his way out of his liar liar pants on fire status and flipped this whole thing back into his favor. Many confrontations bring it all out, followed by Paul-brand soft talking and then it’s all friendship all over again.


Paul puts Nicole on BLAST – Cprey in undies…

Soon after Paul distills the HOHs back down to approve putting Corey and Nicole on blast, he takes that job upon himself. He faces Nicole across the kitchen about lies she’s told. It’s not as funny as the “whole family” confrontation right after the nominations because Paul doesn’t have his floaty on this time. Also, we already pretty much know what’s going to happen because Paul talks about it with Meech and Natalie, along with Victor and James (the silent duo) before the confrontation. One funny element, though, is that clad only in his undies, Corey puts on his patriot unitard costume throughout the tense convo.


Contrite Natalie cries apologizing to Paul

So, the Sunday veto competition is crucial for Paul. He’s up all night August 19th “studying” for it all the way until past six in the morning. The guy who always talks about he’s just in the Big Brother house to have fun and for kicks is cramming like his life depends on it. He’s in it to win it, that much is certain. In fact, during the “friendship” talk with Natalie and Meech in the wee hours Natalie felt so badly about nominating him she cries and apologizes to Paul. Meanwhile Victor and James sit by silent and nodding the entire time. By the end of the “friendship” convo Nat and Meech are contrite and determined to backdoor Corey. It’s as if Paul’s already won the whole thing at this point..

Quote of the day:

Paul after nominations talking to Meech and Nat – I’m not here to tell you that you made a bad decision… but you guys did blow it.

– Katherine Recap

Daily BB House Stats:
HOH – Victor
HOH Nominated – Corey, Paulie
Veto Winner – Victor
Evicted – #1 Jozea #2 Victor #3 Bronte #4 Tiffany #5 Frank #6 Da’vonne #7 Zakiyah #8 Bridgette
Battle Back Winner – Victor
Return Ticket Holder – TBD
Have-Nots – Michelle, Nicole
Have-Not Supplement – Sunflower seeds and corn


Late night relax n’ chat – BREACHED

On August 15th the feeds are down for long periods because of the Veto ceremony and then a backyard county fair event for the houseguests. So, most of what happens during the day we feedsters figure out from subsequent conversations. This is no challenge after the Veto ceremony because Victor just leaves things as they are. Thus Paulie and Corey remain on the block. No surprises there. The backyard event is another story, though. Feeds are cut every time a houseguest mentions anything from the “county fair” so it’s hard to discern what actually transpires other than some boozin, lots of fun, prizes, and a visit from Ziggy Marley.


Get well soon, Nat Nat

This may or may not be the reason for the “special show” on Friday, August 19th. But the fact that cameras are ultra-responsive with cutting feeds every time it’s mentioned makes this seem likely. Still, we manage to piece together a few facts from the county fair event. Only moments before the event begins Natalie strains her neck and subsequently withstands lots of pain, so it’s no surprise when she’s vomiting later, whether it be from drinking a bit too much to assuage the pain or from the pain itself. James holds the barfbag for her while she’s sick and at one point she asks if he’ll like her any less now. He assures her “No,” and it really does seem that, if anything, this only brings them closer.


Newsflash, Paulie – They don’t give a F***

Other houseguests are less successful in their attempts for deeper connection, especially Paulie. He starts a new sympathy-seeking loop bringing up his Aunt who’s sick with cancer. A low blow that’s been used in reality TV contests like BB before. Jonny Fairplay pretended to find out his grandmother died on Survivor to garner sympathy and it worked, so Paulie’s delving the sympathy strategy archives right about now. Even if he truly does have an Aunt with cancer, Big Brother is just a game. If you were playing scrabble with someone and they brought up a dying relative as a way to get an edge in the game would that be fair play? Yes, that’s why they call him Jonny Fairplay. He didn’t play fair. Fact is, though, Paulie doesn’t have to play fair. He can play as dirty as he likes and do whatever it takes to win. His challenge is that this sympathy strategy isn’t working at all. If anything he’s just alienating himself further from his former bros. In his other loop news, Paulie keeps repeating how he can’t handle going to the jury house like I get it, it’s a mansion resort and luxurious experience for YOU GUYS but I’m not like anyone else, I’m special and delicate. Resort vacations cause me anxiety. So, eyerolls abound every time Paulie leaves the room on August 15th.


Victor is everything… even in a purple towel

Victor spent much of the day cleaning and thus upgraded his position as house dreamboat to “future perfect husband candidate” because America already knew he could cook from the amazeballs rice he made a few days ago. The houseguests are still raving about his cooking. Around midnight, as the rest of the house slept there was a convenient trio in HOH of Victor, Paul, and Michelle – potentially our final three, if all goes as they’d prefer. The threesome checked in a bit about game, basically just to make sure nobody falls for any of Paulie’s BS. But they talked mostly about restaurants and back home, in full relaxation mode. At around one in the morning, though, Paulie and Corey join them for an awkward bit of chitchat that gets nixed quickly when Victor goes to bed. Thus Corey and Paulie are relegated to a game of pool in the backyard. It’s noteworthy that this is the first HOH where the bed truly just sleeps one person. In fact, there were weeks when it slept four (two couples snuggled up). This HOH bed stands as a symbol for how the game’s headed. It’s now each houseguest on their own out there. No matter how tightly some of them may cling to each other right now (ahem, Nicole) this will all fall away sooner rather than later. Fun part is this is when the game really gets rolling too.


Pelican floaties give solid advice

We can’t wait to see it spiral into individuals pitted against each other even as they shout “Friendship” to the mountaintops. Those days are clearly right around the corner and the player best positioned right now seems to be Paul. He’s lining up his jury votes, keeping his hands clean, and making everybody laugh along the way. Nobody’s playing Big Brother better right now. Yes, Victor wins tons of comps, looking amazing all the while AND he battled back into the house. Socially, however, Victor’s on shaky ground with many houseguests. It’s not that he does anything wrong really but he eats more than anyone else and Vic’s direct about the stuff that annoys him… like if you drop a crumb on the floor he just swept. While this isn’t on par with Paulie’s emotional blackmail, nobody wants confrontational Mr. Clean for a roommate either.

Katherine Recap

Daily BB House Stats:
HOH – Victor
HOH Nominated – Corey, Paulie
Veto Winner – TBD
Evicted – #1 Jozea #2 Victor #3 Bronte #4 Tiffany #5 Frank #6 Da’vonne #7 Zakiyah #8 Bridgette
Battle Back Winner – Victor
Return Ticket Holder – TBD
Have-Nots – Michelle, Nicole
Have-Not Supplement – Sunflower seeds and corn


Meech tells Paulie he’s not Cody and Derrick

The morning of August 13th begins with Paulie on blast in the kitchen at 9:30AM. This may not seem particularly early among normal, working, human folk. But in the BB house they stay up until three to five AM on the regular. So, it’s basically dawn on their timetable. Even though it’s that early Meech is hot to trot and ready to call out Paulie. Paul actually starts the confrontation when he asks Paulie who the one guy he trusts is, “because I know it’s not me, right?” he keeps prodding, which gets the roast rolling.


Blowin’ smoketrails in a death spiral

Paulie can’t drop his defense or ego. He keeps saying he threw the HOHs to “see where the cards would fall,” and after the Veto says he threw it “to see if they’d pull him off”. Even the greatest competitors can’t win every time, Paulie. Those of us out here in the non-BB world are watching the Olympics and there’s only one gold winner each time. One thing’s certain, nobody throws comps when their ass is on the line and we all know yours is in the BB house right now. Paulie’s defensiveness shows up in other ways too, though. Paulie brings up Season 16’s Cody and Derrick numerous times until finally Meech points out that he, “will never be Cody or Derrick,” and finally appeases all the feedsters who’ve been longing for Paulie to hear these words. Not that it would matter if he were one of them. Fact is, the BB game is a vital, living creature and one must adapt their game because no two seasons are exactly alike. Paulie also blames others for his situation, even saying at one point that Zakiyah should have prevented his game from blowing up (BBtime 10:05PM). This the day after he says Bridgette should ask forgiveness in the afterlife from God for standing up to him. Hmmmmm. Seems a tad high and mighty, in our humble opinion.


Paul = Secret Agent man

But turns out the actual high and mighty (Big Brother) didn’t do Paulie any favors with the Veto competition. It’s a crap shoot “type thing,” much to Paulie’s dismay. The houseguests get penalties and prizes including a vacation for Nicole, a weeklong costume for Corey, summerlong apple pie-making for Paulie, and the Veto for Victor. Paul gets a Secret Service agent costume but what’s great about his penalty is all the stuff he has to do as an agent. He has to keep a straight face, pat down each houseguest regularly, and check in at five different checkpoints around the house. Paul can’t take off any of the costume, including the earpiece and sunglasses for the entire week. Only exception is the suit can come off while showering. Corey has to wear his for showering but can take it off to sleep.


Corey in his patriot suit

The Veto theme this season was Zingbot for President! and the houseguests are happy they got to experience the infamous Zingbot’s zingers up close and personal, especially superfan Michelle. It isn’t clear exactly what they zingers were verbatim but Corey seems most bothered by his, which apparently refer to his showmance with Nicole. What else could you have been zinged for, Corey? The way you constantly gaze off into space with a creepy/dreamy expression? Or perhaps how you check out and go blank-face whenever anyone talks to you? Those aren’t necessarily funny zings, Corey… but they are true.


BS on an infinite loop

Meanwhile Paulie pity party campaigns and claims he won’t even stay in the jury house, if evicted, because of his crippling case of claustrophobia. Nicole assures him that, “the place is huge,” but for some reason this does not console our delicate petunia, Paulie. At this point all of the houseguests are pretty sick of Paulie-brand histrionics. You can sense it from watching the body language dynamics around him anyway but it’s ultimately verified when Paulie goes to Diary Room to get his pie instructions and the houseguests immediately started slamming him. Oh how the mighty have fallen.


Cereal’s great but let’s get on those RT Tix

There’s still several days before the live show eviction Thursday night and we’re hoping for some action with the houseguests tickets. Because they expire Thursday, if all the houseguests (other than Corey and Paulie) open their tickets it wouldn’t matter to their game. But it WOULD reveal whether or not Paulie or Corey have the Return Ticket by the process of elimination. This info would be highly valuable to prep before the live show. Paulie actually mentioned it on August 13th in the evening so we have hope that he pushes it. That guy can be mega pushy and maybe he can put it to good use for us. Use your powers for good, Paulie! We’d sure appreciate it.

Best Quotes of August 13th: “I’ve got my hand up an eagle’s ass” – Corey about his costume

“I didn’t have to shower with my sausage” – Nicole about Corey’s costume. He has to wear the whole thing including hand props, even while in the shower.

– Katherine Recap

Daily BB House Stats:
HOH – Paul
HOH Nominated – Bridgette, Paulie
Veto Winner – Paulie
Evicted – #1 Jozea #2 Victor #3 Bronte #4 Tiffany #5 Frank
Battle Back Winner – Victor
Return Ticket Holder – TBD
Have-Nots – Corey, Paulie, Zakiyah
Have-Not Supplement – Trail Mix and Marshmallows


The new HOH (in name only)

The TV show of July 31st opens with the HOH competition and Natalie’s positive energy bounces off the balls as she and all the houseguests roll balls down curvy creeks over and over. Paul wins early on and there’s a side conference between Paulie and Bridgette. She says Frank advised her to work with him and Paulie says he’s “got her” which feels surprising but pans out in a tiny way later. Paul asks everyone to please volunteer and  be a pawn to go up next to “homegirl” Bridgette. Victor immediately says no no no no because he was already out of the house and (he doesn’t say this part but…) it’s SO stupid to volunteer to be a pawn. Paul thinks he can maybe talk him into it later. But it’s a hopeless endeavor.


Paul’s HOH letter gets an emotional reaction

Nicole and Day have post HOH awkwardness and it’s upsetting to Nicole whereas Day’s just like “I knew it”. about Nicole being untrustworthy Meanwhile at the same time in the very next room Paulie slams Da’vonne and says she needs to go asap. Uh oh. James tells us in the Diary Room right after that he would rather keep Day and get rid of Bridgette, which is what Paul also seems to want… Unfortunately, Paul then says the opposite in the DR then and it turns out he’s fine with Da’vonne going. That ‘uh oh’ now turns into an ‘oh no’ from us here at Fetchland. The show will be much less exciting without our favorite shit stirrer and facial expression maestro. Then during Paul’s HOH room letter from home everyone gets real tender and sentimental, even crying. Zakiyah especially really wants to hear from her mother as a result. Thus we finally see a Diary Room of her – as rare a sighting in Big Brother 18 as Paulie without Paul.


Twinsies on the TV show

Speaking of which, the July 31st TV show introduces how Paul and Paulie call their teamup P&P; without realizing they’re just saying “Pee Pee”. Cool, guys. Real rad bromance nickname. The TV show does a whole segment on the twinsies and really make it seem like Paulie’s up Paul’s butt which makes sense because he did copy Paul’s look and all his little sayings. It’s undeniable but also just exterior stuff that’s not really consequential to the game. The real meaty stuff shows through houseguest actions and game moves. Paul does Paulie’s bidding and, even though he’d really rather not see Da’vonne go, is going along with Paulie’s strategy as if his twinsie is the one in charge. He’s the HOH!


Here comes the care package

After this we get to watch the care package announcement and delivery. Natalie’s adorably happy to get the Never-Not pass, especially this week when she was supposed to be a Have-Not for her low number on the HOH competition. Next Nicole starts “nervousing” about being put on the block so Paulie says he’ll do it. Then Paul does this whole “P&P rules the day!” thing about how they can control everything from these positions of HOH and pawn. Yawn. Yeah, we know. It’s great for them, of course, but makes for a boring game to watch. One sure way to inject entertainment into our feeds would be a feisty Day. Here’s hoping.


Yes… so why are you smiling?

At last on the TV show we have the nomination ceremony when Paul puts up Bridgette and Paulie for eviction. Bridgette says she feels like the whole house is against her… and that makes sense since they are all against her in some ways. But Michelle does make peace with her on the night of July 31st feeds, which was truly a pleasure to see. Michelle admitted that she was just acting like a jealous girlfriend about Frank but she’s over it now and apologized. Kudos to Michelle for the self reflection and contrition. We’re big fans of personal growth. At the same time, we also love a good beatdown here at Fetchland.com. So, let’s see some action between Day and the house as they flip against her and she fights back. It might just be an entertaining week after all. Stay tuned here on Fetchland for daly feeds info and check out our tweets @RuiningBB18.

– Katherine Recap