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23

NOV 2015

The Leftovers, Season 2, Ep. 7 Recap for “International Assassin”

Posted by Katherine Recap | Hollywood, TV

[For “International Assassin”or any other recaps on Fetchland, assume the presence of possible spoilers.]

HBO Summary:
International Assassin Questions and answers emerge in the wake of Kevin’s desperate decision to vanquish Patti.

“International Assassin” takes place in that unconscious state between wakefulness and dreaming where we don’t really know what’s real. But it turns out in this case not to matter if it’s real or not. What matters is that for Kevin’s sake it’s all real and changes everything for him and for Patti. The storyline changes now as a result of Kevin’s unconscious mind in this episode. He works out his unconscious challenges and greatly impacts The Leftovers so that the story shifts gears. Thus, this episode reveals that perhaps the work we do while dreaming can sometimes be our most productive – a shrink’s wet dream.

The Leftover’s writers are kind to us tonight. Not only do they give us answers but they don’t make us wait even a moment and start episode seven right off with Kevin awakening from death as he rises out of a bathtub. He’s not in the trailer anymore, though. This is a hotel room. A sign on the wardrobe says, “Know first who you are, and then adorn yourself accordingly.” There’s a suit inside, a cop uniform, a white Guilty Remnant outfit, and some sort of preacher’s purple robe. Kevin puts the suit on. A delivery guy comes to the door with lilies and gets his name wrong, insisting he’s Mr. Harvey. When Kevin turns his back to get a tip, the guy starts beating him and Kevin punches right back. It’s a vicious fight scene and the guy ends up dead. Kevin bandages his deeply wounded palm and goes to the front desk to ask who sent the flowers. He’s told to ask the concierge and Uh Oh, Virgil is the concierge and writes him a secret note “parking garage 5 min.” On the way there Kevin sees a little girl try to drown herself in the hotel pool and saves her. The girl’s father comes out and screams at her that she doesn’t know how to swim and tells Kevin to mind his effing business. Then in the parking garage Kevin joins Virgil in a car. Virgil’s concerned to see that he’s wet and tells him not to drink the water here. He explains that the hotel and his particular situation are the result of Kevin choosing the clothes of an “International Assassin” out of the wardrobe. We were granted a hint to this effect earlier when he goes to tip the delivery guy and mutters, “All I have is euros.”

Virgil explains the circumstances. Patti will be there in a few hours. She’s a Presidential candidate. He’s now Kevin Harvey an “International Assassin” who made a large contribution to her campaign in order to guarantee a meeting with Patti. There’ll be a gun waiting for him in the bathroom just like in The Godfather. Kevin has to retrieve it and kill her without hesitation or this mission won’t work. Kevin asks how Virgil is here if you have to die first. Virgil replies that he’s atoning. Back upstairs in the hotel Guilty Remnants who refer to Patti as “Senator Levin” question Kevin with a lie detector before he can meet with her. They spray windex in his eyes to get him to admit his name’s Kevin Garvey and not Harvey. They shock him so he’ll admit that he smokes to remember the world ended and not just from nicotine addiction. Then they tell him to go freshen up for the meeting with her. He’s thoroughly vetted.

Kevin goes to his hotel room and flushes out his eyes with water. His Dad starts talking to him through the TV then and says he sent the flowers and that the card doesn’t say “Get Well” as it appears to. The message actually says “Get her to the well.” Kevin’s got to take Patti to the well. Then the TV turns black and there’s a knock on the door. Senator Levin is ready to see him now. He gets patted down and they say he can ask her anything just not about gun control, abortion, North Korea, or her ex husband, Neil. Kevin asks to use the restroom but the security guard is in there right now, so, Kevin’s not armed quite yet.

Patti comes in apologizing for all the security but it’s because someone wants to assassinate her. She explains that people would rather put a bullet in her head than admit her truth. Patti asks what he thinks her truth is and Kevin says she, “wants to destroy families.” Patti agrees that this is exactly her message. Then she tells a story about how on her campaign trail a man handed her his baby and thus abandoned it. That baby will grow up having difficulty connecting with people. It won’t be able to accept and give love. But the baby will be just fine and this is a best thing for it. Attachment and love are extinct now because of October 14th, Patti explains. So, now that baby actually has an advantage because it’s strong. It’s ahead of the game and ready for this new world. Thus we now understand the simple philosophy behind the Guilty Remnant.

She asks Kevin what brought him to her campaign and he says his wife left him for the Guilty Remnant. Patti says that must have been painful and he says no more painful than when Neil left her. She then jokingly tells the security guy to kill Kevin. But it’s a joke. Patti says they all need to lighten up. Shaken, Kevin excuses himself to the bathroom and gets the gun. He shoots the security guard and prepper. Then Patti says she’s not really Patti Levin but a decoy that they found on Facebook, paid, and gave plastic surgery. Her story isn’t wholly unbelievable when she has a completely different voice and mannerisms suddenly… but Kevin shoots her anyway. He was told not to hesitate.

After he shoots decoy Patti he goes back to Virgil the concierge but he’s not Virgil anymore. Kevin asks if he drank the water and he did, “…but I was so thirsty,” so, now Virgil’s gone and Kevin’s on his own. Back in the hall outside his hotel room, the dickhead dad of the drowning girl is locked out with a bottle of whiskey and Kevin’s also locked out of his own room. The guy offers him a drink and they make small talk until Kevin realizes this is Neil, Patti’s ex husband. He breaks Neil’s neck immediately, really taking ownership of his new role “International Assassin.” Now Kevin knows Patti is the little girl he saved and that she’s inside that locked hotel room. He knocks on the door and she opens it then goes with him willingly. They ask the concierge where there’s a well nearby. The concierge sends them to Jarden, Texas with a pamphlet of info about the well. That’s right, it’s a famous historical landmark well and it’s in Miracle, Texas. So, they’re off and on their way to the well. In the car child Patti reads the well pamphlet to Kevin. Historically people have thrown in the well whatever they wanted to unburden themselves from.

On the bridge into Miracle a man drags Kevin out of his car and across the bridge by a long rope and noose. He gives Kevin the choice – cross the bridge or jump and hang himself. Why would he want to die? Kevin asks. “Because you don’t want to kill a child,” the guy replies. Kevin says she’s not a child also this isn’t real and the guy says she is and it’s very real. He’ll be changed by it. Kevin is resolute, though and throws the noose over the side of the bridge then carries child Patti over the bridge to the well without hesitation. She climbs up the side of the stone well and sits on the side of it to ask Kevin if he wants to drop or push her in, “Pushing’s probably easier,” then she asks what’s wrong and he says it’s hard because he feels sorry for her. She asks, “Would it help if I say I deserve it?” Then Patti lists all the cruel things Neil said about her and Kevin begs her to stop. She starts to say, “Would it help if…” again but then he just pushes her in. Afterward Kevin throws up beside the well. Then Patti’s in there – the real Patti, not the kid anymore, and she calls for him to help her. Kevin climbs in, falling a long way down so they’re sitting at the bottom of the well together.

Patti then tells him a story of how during her marriage to Neil she went on Jeopardy with a plan to win $50K. With the winnings she could leave him and start over. That was her plan. Then even though afraid, she’d won on three nights of Jeopardy and brought home a total of $65,300 therefore surpassing her goal of “enough money to leave Neil.” So, she could’ve started over… but she didn’t. She was weak. Patti tells Kevin she’s scared. He comforts her but then (crying all the while) drowns her face down in the water at the bottom of the well. After Patti’s really truly dead there’s a rumble. The well’s stone walls come tumbling down on him and then we shift to Kevin crawling out of the dirt in the woods with no sign of the well anywhere. Kevin’s at a campsite and there’s Michael, surprised to see him alive. Fin.

The scenes between Patti and Kevin arouse intense feelings of remembrance for all those people and things in life we’ve had to let go. Yes, we feel sorry. Yes, there are real reasons for the things we find intolerable about them. But still… they gotta go. Patti was a perfect Guilty Remnant, unable to love or connect because of horrific treatment by Neil (and one presumes her parents as well) and thus she’s holding Kevin down with all of her pain. Patti’s got to go. That’s the thing about pain, people pass it on. It seems Patti tells Kevin the Jeopardy story to give him the strength to take her out. She couldn’t let go, Patti’s saying and he’s going to end up like her if he doesn’t unburden himself of her. Even she knows the right thing for him to do. Thank goodness he does it. Even if the episode “International Assassin” took place entirely inside Kevin’s head it still moves the story forward because it expels Patti from the narrative. The only thing keeping her in The Leftovers was Kevin. Thus we can all sigh with relief now thanks to our “International Assassin” because it’s satisfying to see that toxic bitch, Patti Levin finally shuffle off this mortal coil and go.

–Katherine Recap

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23

NOV 2015

The Top 8 – Week Four

Posted by Michael Flores | Sports

“The Top 8” is an ongoing weekly column focused on the NBA… And more importantly my favorite NBA team, the Cleveland Cavaliers! For any and all installments, click here.

The Cavs ended Week Three with a heartbreaking loss to the Milwaukee Bucks. People whose jaws dropped and heads shook actually watching the game probably blame an errant ref whistle; but those of us looking at the box score just saw the Cavs drop it by three points in double overtime.

Our heroes then opened up Week Four with a swing at another midwest team: The Detroit Pistons.

Game Eleven: Cavs at Pistons 11/17/2015

There was once a stretch where the mighty Pistons were locks for the Eastern Conference Finals, and back in 2007, the Cavs had to get by them for LBJ to make that first NBA Finals appearance, himself.

Times have changed, though, and the Pistons are barely above .500.

HOWEVER — and this is a big “however” — The Pistons have got Andre Drummond.

ESPN Headline: Pistons rally for 104-99 win over Cavs despite James’ 30

This headline doesn’t begin to describe the game. Thirty points… Whatever! LBJ wasn’t even the best Cav. The real headline here should have been either been celebrating Andre Drummond’s monster line (25 points, 18 rebounds) or pointing out how the Cavs were routed 18-29 in the fourth quarter.

Every time I see an Andre Drummond box score I get a little angry. Drummond is not just hands-down the best Center in the NBA (DeAndre Jordan plays Center in the NBA), but he was hands down the best rookie his rookie year (Anthony Davis was Rookie of the Year that year)… And OF COURSE the Cavs could have had him.

Instead… We took Dion Waiters 🙁

Who drafts a rando Shooting Guard fourth? 🙁

Drummond played better than any two Cavs combined this game, and very nearly as well as the top three Cavs put together, as you can see:

Cavaliers 99 Pistons 104

Outcome: Pistons by 5

Game Twelve: Bucks at Cavaliers 11/19/2015

ESPN Headline: James, Love lead Cavaliers past Bucks, 115-100

If there is such a thing as a must-win game for a single regular-season game a dozen games in (there isn’t)… This would be it. Losing this game would put the Cavs on a three-game slide, with two losses to the Bucks.

Luckily, they stomped ’em.

It is in fact the case that James and Love led the Cavs (more or less equally), but the Greek Freak was the best player in a losing effort.

Bucks 100, Cavaliers 115

Outcome: Cavs by 15

Separately: Really nice to see Andy crack a Top 8 🙂

Game Thirteen: Hawks at Cavs 11/21/2015

ESPN Headline: Love, James lead Cavaliers past Hawks, 109-97

Better would be “James, Love, and Thompson lead Cavaliers past Hawks, 109-97″

TT missed a double-double by one point, but LBJ and KLove both notched ’em in this one.

Hawks97, Cavaliers 109

Outcome: Cavs by 12

More gratifying even than the victory was that it was a big win against an excellent opponent; Atlanta was Cleveland’s dance partner in last year’s Eastern Conference Finals.

Side note: Great to see Thabo playing well after his unfortunate off-court injury. I said during the playoffs last year that Thabo was Atlanta’s best player, and without him, they did not have a reliable man defender for LeBron James.

2-1 is a full-on okay week. The Cavs remain at the head of the Eastern Conference at 10-3; not one of these regular seasons games means that much, individually as the Cavs are almost certainly a lock for the playoffs.

Sure fun to watch, though.

Can’t wait for Kyrie and Shump to come back (and now Mo and Mozgov) :/

LOVE
MIKE

19

NOV 2015

American Horror Story – Hotel, Ep. 7 Recap “Flicker”

Posted by Katherine Recap | TV

[For American Horror Story – Hotel “Flicker” or any other recaps on Fetchland, assume the presence of possible spoilers.]

FX Summary:
Flicker Will Drake’s renovations uncover one of the hotel’s greatest secrets; John undergoes an evaluation.

Will Drake renovates the Hotel Cortez and, surprise surprise, construction workers unearth some uber old and mighty thirsty vampires in the process. Iris and The Countess then discover the workers’ bodies and it’s the first time Iris has ever seen The Countess scared. “Whomever did this must have been starving,” she says, voice trailing off. Then we’re taken back to Hollywood 1925 and Gaga (in a mousie brunette wig) plays an actress crushing madly on Rudolph Valentino. The feeling is mutual, it seems, and he invites her for dinner where Valentino says he sees greater things for Mousie than acting. But she thinks, “The flickers are the future – a true American art form,” movies are going to make her immortal, she claims. Valentino insists flickers are a phase and real immortality is something else entirely. They dance instead of eating until Valentino’s wife, Natascha, interrupts. Natascha, the cat calls her “Little Mouse” and explains that she’s been invited there because, “Gods have appetites,” and thus the awkward dancing continues as a trio. The three then have sex and Gaga’s happy to be the cheese in their mouse sandwich. In the next scene some time has passed and Mousie is now officially in love with Valentino. She attends the grand opening party for the Hotel Cortez when it’s announced that Valentino is dead. Mousie runs to the window to kill herself immediately but James March stops her from doing so saying, “I may never let you go.”

At Valentino’s crypt three fans gossip about a woman in black who leaves a single red rose on his grave every day. Turns out it’s the Mouse and here she comes, though no longer quite so mousie now that she’s platinum blonde – The Countess. Natascha comes up behind her to say Valentino’s not dead after all, it’s his stunt double in the crypt. And then out of the shadows… there he is. Natasha congratulates The Countess on her marriage to James March. She admits that she doesn’t love him but they have great sex and she likes his darkness – a 1920’s euphemism for murderous rampages. Valentino says he’s sad to see her suffer and she says she never suffers. Then Valentino tells her a story of the German director, F.W. Murnau who made the original 1922 Nosferatu. While researching that movie he’d discovered people with an ancient blood virus that kept them young and beautiful but with an infinite blood thirst. Murnau then turned Valentino into a truly free immortal – giving him the blood virus but also telling him to give up acting. It was all because the talking pictures were coming to “Kill the Gods” of the silent pictures. So, though Valentino the film star is dead, this guy The Countess loves lives after all, just a slightly diseased version. Then Valentino and Natascha say they want to give their virus to their little mouse. So, it’s time for a makeout bloodfest sex party right there beside Valentino’s crypt as they pass along the virus to The Countess. Meanwhile James March listens patiently nearby the whole time.

At the mental ward of an LA hospital John Lowe gets analyzed and admitted, his indigo eyes perfectly matched to his form fitting jeans. Alex offers to get him out but John believe he belongs in there, “I need professional help,” he says with great confidence and clarity. It’s because of a tough case at work, he explains, also his daughter’s lack of trust in him, and his wife leaving. Lowe neglects to mention the Hotel Cortez but keeps reiterating that he’s exactly where he needs to be. Later John’s wandering the mental ward when he eavesdrops on some orderlies talking about a psycho killer who’s kept in a “restricted area.” Being a detective with a self-destructive bent, he immediately steals a security guard’s keys and enters that restricted area. Once inside he finds a little girl named Wren in a british school uniform who won’t eat her dinner. She tells John she’s protecting the ten commandments killer because she doesn’t want him to get caught. Lowe tells her it’s not her fault the killer keeps killing but she insists that it is. Lowe sees her as a version of Scarlet. “But it’s me, not her and it’s him, not you,” he says about the dark behavior of men versus their little girls and Wren seems to understand what he’s driving at. She tells him a story about how in 1986 her father left her in a hot car and The Countess saved her. Lowe doesn’t really hear her when she talks about this part but when Wren says, “Get me out of here and I’ll show you where he lives,” about the Ten Commandments killer, John hears that part. They escape the asylum together and she says they have to go home to the Cortez. Will he kill the serial killer? she asks and then when he says he will she says, “I’d hate to see it end. I liked you,” before running into an oncoming truck and disappearing. John sees this and shrieks, thinking she’s dead. But we know better. When’s Lowe going to take a hint? Somebody needs to spell it out for him that blonde kids in british school uniforms are vampires. Maybe Alex could tell him except she’s a damn vampire too… and also she hates him.

Near the end of the episode we discover the two thirsty beasts that were unleashed in the first scene are Valentino and Natascha. It seems James March locked them away in a bricked up suite for all these years and now, unleashed they’re feeding on every Cortez guest they can find to revive their beauteous selves. One can only expect that their next step will be wreaking vengeance upon March. Then the Countess visits March and tells him she’s going to marry again – Will Drake this time. He recommends that when she kills this husband the Countess should do it off the property so she won’t have to keep dealing with his haunting annoyances for eternity. March then says he knows Valentino was the one love she ever really had and he’s clearly not over the fact that she never loved him, though he was her husband. Some people just can’t let stuff go… Then we see how March locked away Natascha and Valentino in a bricked off suite of the Cortez where they’ve been since 1925 only to be released now and he finally tells The Countess about it. She’s having feelings now just knowing that her beloved is nearby and likely seeking revenge against her haunted house.

This delightful episode brought us into yet another glorious origin story about the Hotel Cortez and its gorgeous, tormented inhabitants. There were many laugh out loud moments in this one and the show steamrolls ahead even as it looks back with reverent nostalgia. The coolest thing about American Horror Story is definitely Lady Gaga. She brings to glamorous life the inherent contradiction that comes with all ghost stories – yes remembrance of youth is glorious and beautiful but when we’re stuck in those memories we have to live with the indelible decay that comes from holding onto the past too tightly.

–Katherine Recap

19

NOV 2015
Blood and Quiescence / Crau a Chwsg

The Bastard Executioner, Season 1, Ep. 10 recap for “Blood and Quiescence/Crau a Chwsg”

Posted by Michael Flores | TV

[For The Bastard Executioner‘s “Blood and Quiescence/Crau a Chwsg” or any other recaps on Fetchland, assume the presence of possible spoilers.]

FX Summary:
Blood and Quiescence / Crau a Chwsg In the first season finale, Wilkin and Milus lead an unlikely band of brothers on a life-threatening rescue mission.

You got that spoiler warning, right? Great! Let’s set the stage then:

Wilkin Brattle was a barley farmer. One night he and his fellow male villagers set out to beat up some tax collectors. Because violence. Because taxes. Because injustice in medieval England Wales; because Braveheart. The local Baron responds to this defiance by killing all the women, children, and elderly (including Wilkin’s preggers wife) in their protection-less village.

Unfortunately for the Baron, Wilkin is secretly one of the greatest living Knights, and has basically been masquerading as a barley farmer on account of being sick of killing folks (plus magic) (maybe). Wilkin and company kill the Baron with the help of Welsh insurgents in the very first episode.

But there are more people to kill! In order to find out about all the folks who could have wronged their village, Wilkin (with bff / sidekick Toran) takes up the identity of a dead executioner — Gawain Maddox — to install himself in the castle and uncover who killed which loved ones (to reap maxiumum vengeance). He is guided by the mysterious Annora. Plus ghosts. He is horrified over and over by the personal violence required of him to keep up his cover.

In the castle Wilkin takes up with…

  • Jessamy Maddox, who, unhinged, seems convinced he is actually her dead husband Gawain. Wilkin basically adopts Lucca Maddox and ends up a better, more beloved, father to him than his own ever was.
  • Milus Corbett (aka Vampire Bill from True Blood) is the conniving chamberlain of the shire, and recognizes Wilkin as the great knight… but facilitates his charade for his own agenda; which — horrendous tactics or no — genuinely seem loyal to…
  • Lady Love Ventris – the Baron’s widow. Love is everything her husband was not, a kind of fictional unicorn: wise, fair, kind, and genuinely good despite being a [hated] noble. Because this is tv she is also super hot. Love is desperately trying to retain control of her little Welsh shire from the crushing grip of English or even French dominance. Love harbors a secret though…
  • The Wolf — leader of the Welsh revolutionaries — is her brother! The Wolf is an all right guy, often aiding Wilkin or Love (and vice versa) on the side; but in 2015 parlance his day job would indeed be the t-word (you know, “freedom fighter”)

Woods witch Annora is married to show creator Kurt Sutter in real life; previously she was Peggy Bundy. On The Bastard Executioner she is the keeper of a great secret and seems to command actual magical powers!

Annora is opposed by the Rosula, a order of Warrior-Priests descended from the Roman soldiers who tortured Christ. They have not gotten any more pleasant in the ensuing thousand years but, connected directly to the Pope, are unbelievably powerful politically.

As we approach “Blood and Quiescence/Crau a Chwsg” Wilkin’s “son” and local parish priest Father Ruskin are in the power of the Rosula, who believe the two know where Annora is. Wilkin and wingman Toran tire of being in charge of torturing, maiming, and / or killing unarmed women as executioners, and just want to finish their vengeance. Wilkin largely blames Annora for putting him and his friends into a series of impossible positions; Annora, for her part, has just revealed she is Wilkin’s mom. Oh, and Lady Love and Wilkin have basically fallen for each other, which is all kinds of complicated.

“Blood and Quiescence/Crau a Chwsg”, the finale of the first season of The Bastard Executioner, begins, as is often the case, with a montage of different characters’ experiences and points of view.

Milus (Vanpire Bill) happens on the Reeve Leon praying in the chapel. It is kind of a weird shot. We all hate Vampire Bill right? Wilkin hates the Reeve the most! Does Milus hate the Reeve? Why is he looking at him like that?

In the caves, captive Father Ruskin, face all busted up, smiles on fellow captive Lucca, reassuring. Man, I hope they don’t get dead we all think in unison.

At Castle Ventris Isabel asks Love if she cares deeply for “the man who pretends to be our punisher” … Unsurprisingly, Love indicates she does. “It seems you have acquired the adventure your spirit longs for.”

Finally Toran mugs the Knight Locke who killed his wife and child. Toran outs himself while the Knight presses his throat against Toran’s blade, asking for no mercy.

“Make haste with your vengeance.

“I follow the orders of my commander but I alone own the blood my blade spills. I’ve earned no mercy.”

Inexplicably Toran hands Locke an axe and offers him the chance at a fair fight!

Which Toran loses!

In a reversal of the previous interaction Toran offers himself up, also asking no mercy.

“This is most fitting that you be the one to deliver me to my loving wife and boy.”

Locke says there may be no mercy in Ventris but there is honor. He spares Toran, declares all debts cleared and makes clear that he and Wilkin — the false punisher — have earned their places in his opinion; Locke will not give them up. Best buds with the guy who killed your family?

Roll opening credits.

Annora (aka mommy dearest) lays it all out for Wilkin.

According to Seraphim tradition, Jesus was just a man… But God spoke through him.

The Seraphim keep their records on their bodies (all tatted up); four of twelve have fallen to the Rosula already. Drum roll: Annora herself is the direct descendant of Christ!

Which — drum roll — essentially makes Wilkin (her son) Jesus Junior!

Macro myths aside, the Rosula have Father Ruskin and Wilkin’s kinda-son captive. Wilkin has to get them back but obviously can’t do it alone. He goes to Love for help.

There is a sweet little scene of Wilkin going to Love’s room, where handmaiden Isabel threatens “your torture devices cannot match the pain I will bring” if he does her wrong (presumably romantically).

This episode is basically Dar Williams’s first album:

the-honesty-room

Whatever secrets! Not-executioners are outing themselves! Wilkin tells Love about Annora, who the Archdeacon really is, and his own place in this amazing story. Love is loathe to oppose the Archdeacon (and Rome), but acknowledges the rightness of rescuing Father Ruskin and Lucca.

Speaking of the Archdeacon, he and pop star Ed Shearen (really) implore Ruskin “priest to priest” to tell them where Annora is. Of course he won’t relent; they threaten Lucca (because holding a knife to a young boy’s throat is so noble). Lucca himself flips! (and consequently keeps breathing)

Love goes to the one man who can get things done in this shire: Vampire Bill for help with the rescue mission.

“Your ability to turn complications into advantages is what makes you such a valuable chamberlain.”

It’s kind of a great scene. Love knows Milus is a monster, but he’s her monster… Something every good ruler probably needs. Milus can get a posse of “Knights and horsemen who will fight for pay” but they will probably still be outnumbered by the Rosula. Love has something — or rather someone — in her back pocket to help (and we can all guess who that is).

Jessamy gets in trouble (again) and tries, jealously, to clock Love (again) and gets thrown in the dungeon. Wilkin goes down to see his “wife” and encounters the Reeve in a scene mirroring Toran’s from the beginning of the episode. He points out that the Reeve is wearing (actual) dead Mrs Brattle’s cross; and the Reeve claims he did not kill her — could not kill a pregnant woman — and wears the cross as a reminder of “God before crown.”

They throw down anyway and Wilkin effortlessly defeats his wife’s presumed murderer. But wait! Ghosts!

Fake-wife Jessamy is replaced temporarily by the angelic ghost of dead-real-wife Petra (who we haven’t seen since her gratuitous-for-basic-cable-full-frontal scene in “Piss Profit/Proffidwyr Troeth”), who instructs Wilkin to spare his life.

So… All buddies / all good?

The Reeve realizes in that moment that Corbett always knew who Wilkin was, and turned him into “his obliging whore.” No hands are clean. No one is happy. All is brutal in medieval Wales.

Both the Reeve and Locke join the raiding posse. And Petra’s cross is returned to The Bastard Executioner.

It’s time for battle! Waiting for the Ventris Knights and mercenaries are the Wolf and a legion of Welsh insurgents. Vampire Bill &c. seem pretty surprised that Wilkin and Toran are already best buddies with the Wolf, but Wilkin points out that without their help, they will be badly outnumbered.

Two legions of Rosula riders meet our heroes (“heroes”?) on the field. The Dark Mute (who hasn’t been mute since the Pilot) declares “we will not defeat them on steeds” and tells the good guys to unhorse. We learn a lot about Kurt Sutter’s character in that moment. HE SETS HIMSELF ON FIRE and runs directly into the scrum of Rosula. Lots of the Rosula are thrown from their spooked steeds, making them easy prey for the assembled Knights and Welsh.

The Rosula are completely routed. Wilkin frees Father Ruskin and Lucca, who take up blades.

The Archdeacon tells Ruskin “If you kill me, Priest, you secure your place in hell.” Ruskin — formerly an assassin — is given pause, but Lucca just murders the Archdeacon from behind! Attaboy!

Ed Shearen, distraught at the death of his master, chases off Lucca, so Wilkin chases after them both. Then Lucca cripples the eff out of Ed Shearen, who is now in no position to fight the approaching Wilkin. Wilkin can obviously kill him but Lucca begs his father to stay and comfort him.

Everyone pats everyone on the head. Ventris lost exactly four men. The Rosula kept maximum one man (Ed Shearen), who according to Wilkin, was probably too injured to survive. The Dark Mute died a “righteous and most fitting death” from flames, not Rosula swords.

And now it’s time to tie a bow on Season One of The Bastard Executioner.

Love only had 2-3 months of masquerade in her. Corbett suggests “the child of Lady Love and Baron Ventris so special” it was “called to heaven before even born.”

A miscarriage might cover up one lie, but doesn’t actually secure the lineage of Love’s shire.

I don’t buy that Ed Shearen is dead. I don’t even buy that The Dark Mute is dead. That he was already burned to all holy heck indicates the self-immolation-to-harangue-horses was not his first rodeo. The Dark Mute was by all indications an invincible fighter — almost supernaturally gifted — so maybe he was also more fireproof than usual.

Of course the season ends with gratuitous butt shots of both Love and Wilkin, who finally smash; long, slow, and accompanied by the full cut of the show’s theme song. One of the macro concerns of The Bastard Executioner has been noble Love pairing with commoner Gawain Maddox; of course Gawain was always at least a great Knight, and now we know Wilkin is of the most noble blood of all! So symmetry.

Though The Bastard Executioner got officially axed today, Sutter made sure to leave us with plenty of mysteries unsolved. What’s up with those mutilated bodies? Can Love retain control of Ventris? Who’s good and who’s not so good? If not the Reeve, who killed Petra*? That said, I think he put a happy enough cap on the show that “Blood and Quiescence/Crau a Chwsg” can make for a satisfying series not just season finale. The good looking people end up together, accounts are largely settled, and even Milus is confirmed to be on the side of the Angels, even if he himself is a devil.

LOVE
MIKE

* In echo of Katherine‘s end-of-recap hot takes on Scream Queens I’ll vote here for Ash. Petra seemed like she knew her attacker back in the Pilot, and there is just something wrong with that kid. We’ll now likely never know.

18

NOV 2015

Scream Queens, S1, Ep. 9 Recap for “Ghost Stories”

Posted by Katherine Recap | TV

[For Scream Queens‘ “Ghost Stories” or any other recaps on Fetchland, assume the presence of possible spoilers.]

FOX Summary:
Ghost Stories Denise tells a terrifying ghost story; a familiar face returns; the killer claims another victim.

Nick Jonas, AKA Boone, is now full blown back on Scream Queens and Chanel No. 3 assumes he’s a ghost. She apologizes for outing his gayness then says she’s sorta gay now too, to which Boone replies, “Boo!” and she’s actually kinda scared. Back at the Kappa house Chanel preps outfits for Thanksgiving dinner with Chad’s parents in the Hamptons while the other Chanel’s fantasize out loud about murdering her. She’s pretty intolerable with the whole “marrying Chad is the only thing that matters” thing, like a ceaseless, brainless parrot.

Denise supervises and advises while Chanel packs for her trip and Chanel No, 3 tells them about how she saw the ghost of dead gay Boone on the quad. This inspires Denise to tell them a terrifying ghost story so they’ll be scared of a fake thing rather than a real one. It’s a brilliant plan, no doubt. She tells them a Japanese ghost story about a ghost called The Kappa. It snatches you by the vagina when you drop trou and go to the bathroom, then it drags you into raw sewage. The end. This is followed by other stories, none of which quite do the trick. The Kappa girls are just flat out more terrified than ever. Then Denise is attacked by the Red Devil in the bathroom but she gets away and heads into Chanel’s room. There she demands that they tell her a scary ghost story so she can move on from this horrifying experience. Hester tells one circa 1950s with bobby socks, saddle shoes, and cool cars along with the meathook killer. Luckily, it does the job on Denise.Then, for some reason, Chanel No. 5 gets feisty, declares that she’s getting off campus before the serial killer gets her, and storms out.

At the frat house Boone visits Chad who also assumes he’s a ghost. Chad asks him why he came back and Boone explains that the phrase “Once you go black you never go back,” means he can be come back from the dead if he has sex with Zayday. Of course, Chad believes this. Meanwhile Zayday is finally kissing her hot boyfriend, Earl Grey. So, then when Earl slips out to get the sensual massage oil to heat things up between them Boone climbs in Zayday’s window. He tells her his shirt is made of boyfriend material and says he’s a ghost here to seduce her. But Zayday tells him the problem with his story is that she doesn’t believe in ghosts. Then Grace rushes in and it turns out she doesn’t believe in them either. When they tell Boone they don’t beleive he’s a ghost he somehow disappears – likely out the window. Then Earl Grey returns with his basket of sensual delights but before he gets inside Kappa house Boone, dressed as the Red Devil, kills him. Meanwhile a different Red Devil rides in the back seat of Chanel No. 5’s car while she drives home for Thanksgiving but a trucker saves her life and ends up sacrificing his own in the process. This inspires No 5 to drive back to campus because now she has a scary story to tell. She’s not the most logical Chanel… and that’s saying a lot.

Hester then shows up at Chad’s with a bedazzled neckbrace. When he’s turned off by it she explains that she has to wear it again because her spinal cord was collapsing. Chad then tells Hester a multitude of reasons why he invited Chanel instead of her to Thanksgiving. His list includes: her breath, a fart, and her neckbrace. Hester is beside herself and returns to the Chanels now bursting with her own brand of horror story. She declares that not only did she sleep with Chad but she’s also now pregnant as a result. Chanel then confronts Chad about it and he admits the truth about sleeping with Hester several times. Then he says, “Guess I have to marry her now and take her home for Thanksgiving. But you can still be my piece on the side.” Shockingly, Chanel doesn’t find this comforting and threatens to kill him. He then has a moment of Chad clarity and asks her if she’s the killer to which Chanel just smirks and says, “I guess we’ll see.”

She then tells the Chanels they all have to get together in Kappa sisterhood and kill Hester. That way she can get Chad back and marry him and happily ever after and blah blah blah. Meanwhile downstairs Detective Chisolm asks Zayday and Grace for a sketch of Boone the ghost even though he already has several pictures of him form when he was alive. It turns out Chisolm believes the reason he hasn’t found the killer is because the killer must be a ghost. Why else would the killer so easily get away with all this relentless killing right under Chisolm’s nose? So, Boone being a ghost AND the killer fits right into this particular theory. The detective even brought a paranormal expert in to help with the investigation. After Detective Chisolm and his expert leave, shunned by the Kappas and Dean Munsch for this ridiculous theory, the Dean tells Zayday and Grace a story. She says there were two babies born in that bathtub and one of them was Boone – she’d recognized that baby’s distinctive smirk on Boone’s frat boy mug right away.

Then we’re at Gigi’s apartment where Boone then tells his sad rejection story about Zayday to a guy in the Red Devil outfit and Gigi. She tells Boone he’s the weakest link and she’s going to off him. Boone replies that he was that baby in the bathtub and he did everything for her, even pretended to be gay and that she was his mother but she’s not thankful to him and she’s certainly not his mother. Then Boone says they’re going to kill her. He looks to his Red-Devil-suited sibling to do the deed and they raise the knife but instead of attacking Gigi, they kill Boone instead. Gigi points out that Boone was the Red Devil’s brother… so, perhaps if’s a girl in the suit after all. It all depends on if indeed Boone was one of the bathtub babies. Our source for that info is the Dean, after all, so not 100% reliable.

Meanwhile back at Kappa house the Chanels corner Hester forcing her to pee on twenty pregnancy sticks before they’ll allow her to leave with Chad for the Hamptons. Rather than submit to all that urination, Hester admits to lying about being pregnant but announces that now she can go spend the weekend with him and have ample opportunities to get pregnant. Then Hester’s about to escape but Chanel pushes her down that extraordinary Kappa house spiral staircase and kills her. She says the best part about this murder is that now she’s created the best ghost story of all. It’s about a girl in a neckbrace who tried to steal a hotter girl’s boyfriend. Those really are the coolest stories a sorority sister can tell, after all.

So, all signs still point to Chanel as the killer. She could certainly be Boone’s long lost sister because maybe after the bathtub incident she was adopted into her rich family. The Scream Queens season was recently shortened from an original fifteen episodes to thirteen so that leaves four remaining and thus far the only characters we know for certain have killed people are Chanel and Dean Munsch, who killed her husband’s mistress, Feather. Chanel, in fact, killed a woman early on in the very first episode for a ridiculous reason and without a bit of remorse. So, the only question is why would Chanel bother with all this dressing up in devil costumes and involving Gigi stuff? If the Red Devil serial killer is indeed Chanel, we need to know what exactly it is she’s avenging to parse all those details. Maybe the next four episodes will surprise us with a different/better suspect or perhaps they’ll further explain this course of Chanel-as-killer reasoning. Not that Scream Queens involves a lot of reasoning but when we find out the killer it should make some sort of sense – as long as it’s not a Chanel explaining it

Katherine Recap

17

NOV 2015

Fargo, Season 2, Ep. 6 Recap for “Rhinocerous”

Posted by Katherine Recap | TV

[For Fargo “Rhinocerous” or any other recaps on Fetchland, assume the presence of possible spoilers.]

FX Summary:
Rhinocerous Lou and Hank try to prevent an altercation and the Gerhardt clan attempts to get back one of their own.

The episode’s title likely refers to the absurdist play “Rhinocerous” by Eugène Ionesco, from 1959. It’s the story of small town where every inhabitant turns into a rhino except the man they all consider a drunken, paranoid fool. This directly parallels the events of this episode as usually capable characters get thrown out of whack while the drunken, paranoid fool (perfectly portrayed by Nick Offerman) saves the day. In fact, the whole episode revolves around the theme of underestimating the apparent fool.

The curtain opens as Ed finally faces the music, a single silent tear sliding down his cheek in the back of the squad car on the way to the station. Meanwhile Charlie sits, head bandaged in a cell until it’s time for his one phone call. Bear and Dodd battle it out on the Gerhardt front lawn as usual until Floyd intervenes and sends them to Minnesota – Bear to pick up his son from jail and Dodd to “take care of this butcher fella.”

Meanwhile Mike Milligan and Simone have a split screen convo and she tells him where they went with instructions to kill her dad, Dodd. After this Mike whimsically recites the famous nonsense poem “Jabberwocky” by Lewis Carroll as he collects guns and men to hit the road. But he’s not headed where Simone said, so Mike either doesn’t believe her or he doesn’t care about killing Dodd and Bear but would rather take out whomever was left behind at home base. Either scenario could be true. Then just as Floyd begins an inspiring lecture to Simone on feminine leadership, they’re rudely interrupted as Mike and his Kansas City crew bros attack the house with a torrent of gunfire through the Gerhardt kitchen window. War has hit the homestead. The theme of underestimating fits here because no matter the reason Milligan chose to hit the homestead rather then do as Simone said, he underestimated her. Clearly that was a mistake because this move has little impact on the war. If he’d gone to Minnesota as she’d suggested though, Mike would have caught the crucial Gerhardt family members in a vulnerable state and potentially won the war in one Milligan swoop.

Back at the Blomquists Peggy avoids answering Hank’s questions until he says, “You’re a little touched aren’t ya?” but she can’t really see what he means even after Hank reminds her they tried to kill her husband and torched his shop. “Life’s a journey, ya know…” she responds. Peggy’s so wrapped up in new age sillyspeak, she’s as nonsensical as Lewis Carroll’s blathering Jabberwocky. Right when Hank’s given up on Peggy, Dodd drives up to the house and Hank tells her to hide inside. Dodd asks for Ed and Hank says he’s at the police station. The Gerhardt gang approach the porch where Hank stands alone. Then Hanzee knocks Hank out with a whack and leaves to look for Ed at the police station while Dodd searches the house with two minions. Dodd’s so tense he shoots one of his own men in a panicked reflex all the while threatening Peggy as he searches, “When I find you, darling, I’m gonna make you bleed,“ but Peggy’s an unexpectedly formidable opponent in her own basement. She bashes the other minion with a sink basin and shocks Dodd silly with his own favorite weapon, the electric zapping stick. He’d foolishly set it aside while taunting her. Never underestimate your enemy in battle, Mr Gerhardt, even if it happens to be seemingly silly, nonsensical Peggy Blomquist.

Lou interrogates Ed at the station, bringing up the cleaver in Virgil’s head at his butcher shop and the fake car accident. But Ed isn’t listening and says he just keeps thinking of Sisyphus and his boulder, a reminder that it doesn’t matter what happens because he’s just going to “take care of what’s mine.” Ed’s right about the “it doesn’t matter” part but he’s not just misinterpreting the significance and lesson of Sisyphus. He’s also missing the crucial element in his own situation, which Lou keeps trying to remind him. The Gerhardts are coming to kill him. Having seen detective and courtroom shows on TV, Ed then asks for a lawyer, like ya do.

Turns out the only lawyer in Luverne, Minnesota is Karl Weathers, played by Nick Offerman. So, though he may be three sheets to the wind intoxicated at amy point, Karl’s also always ready to do some serious lawyering. Once at the station, Karl’s not just drunk but ranting paranoid declarations with unparalleled passion. He can’t be silenced or even hushed until Karl faces a gang of Gerhardt guns cocked and pointed at him in the parking lot. Then he goes back inside and reports that, “The jackboots are upon us,” so Lou calls for reinforcements. Unfortunately, it’ll be an hour before they show up. Lou faces Bear and the others out front, seemingly unafraid. He says they’ve got his son Charlie in a jail cell on attempted murder. Bear asks about the butcher and Lou says he’s under armed protection and they can’t get to him either because they’ve “got enough men and guns to hold them off until morning,” but even Bear knows he’s bluffing. Bear says Lou’s gotta send his Charlie out. Lou goes inside and enlists the quickly sobering up Karl to help “talk some sense” into Bear then heads back to the interrogation room where he left Ed and says there’s a lynch mob outside. “So am I released?” Ed asks and Lou says for simplicity’s sake let’s say so. But really, Lou stays tightly beside Ed as they slip out the back of the station and into the woods. Hanzee’s already on their tails from the moment they exit.

Meanwhile Hank awakens on the Blomquist porch and goes out to his car where he gets a call with an update from the station on the CB radio. He says, “Tell Lou to sit tight. Can’t have him getting killed without me. I’ll never hear the end of it at dinner.” But Lou’s not sitting tight. He’s roaming the woods behind the station with Ed. Even so, a bit later Hank drives up and finds him so they commiserate a bit about their evening. While they chat Ed makes a run for it even though they’re standing beside a squad car that can easily catch him. So, Hank and Lou get in the car to collect silly, nonsensical Ed while behind them in the shadows Hanzee lurks, the expert tracker and always right on the tail of his man. But, just like Ed, Hanzee walks on foot as he follows the squad car. As usual Lou finds himself surrounded by those who underestimate him, one runs ahead of him while the other walks behind.

Back at the station Karl goes outside and introduces himself to Bear as Charlie’s lawyer. He says the police will meet his demands and send the boy out but as his lawyer he’d recommend a different course of action. It would be better for Charlie to face the charges, which will be minimal as things stand. If the police have to send the kid out under duress, though, much harsher consequences will fall upon Charlie. Bear responds that they’ll just take the butcher then. Karl says again this will come down on Charlie with more serious charges. If they don’t beat it and retreat the kid will have to face the music for their deeds as well as his own. Then, luckily for all involved, the Gerhardts take Karl’s advice and drive away to leave Charlie in jail.

Thus “Rhinocerous” concludes with yet another underestimated character overcoming adversity. This episode’s an underdog story in triplicate, which in true Fargo style points to the absurdity of blind confidence. Dodd literally put his weapon down while searching for Peggy, thus availing to her the very cudgel of his undoing. Similarly, if Mike had just listened to Simone he could have taken out the Gerhardt’s primary heads of state, Dodd and Bear, but of course Mike didn’t listen to her. In fact, by attacking the very spot where she stands, he could be destroying his one insider into the Gerhardt clan. Simone, it seems, may be Mike’s achilles heel without him even realizing it. And then there’s Karl Weathers, the most parallel character to the episode’s namesake theatrical production, Rhinocerous. He appears a mere drunk and disorderly fool yet Karl’s the only one who can reason with the Gerhardts. A smooth talker in a Jabberwocky disguise, he’s the hero of this one.

–Katherine Recap

17

NOV 2015
Jazz 114, Cavs 118

The Top 8 – Week Three

Posted by Michael Flores | Sports

“The Top 8” is an ongoing weekly column focused on the NBA… And more importantly my favorite NBA team, the Cleveland Cavaliers! For any and all installments, click here.

When we left the Cavs last week they were 5-1 and the best team in the East.

Week Three featured four games, and an ultimately imperfect record… But they’re still the best team in the East both by record (8-2) and differential (+7.2). At the time of this writing there are two teams with better differentials in the game, the still-unbeaten 11-0 Golden State Warriors and their monstrous +16.3 and the seemingly ageless San Antonio Spurs at +10.6; the Spurs, though, hold a slightly inferior 7-2 record.

Spoilers! The Cavs went 3-1 during Week Three, which isn’t too shabby… But I’m again a little concerned about the quality of competition. They faced the Pacers (6-4), Jazz (5-5), Knicks (5-6), and Bucks (5-5)… So no really distinguished teams yet.

Game Seven: Pacers at Cavs 11/08/15

ESPN Headline: James scores 29 despite bruised quad as Cavs beat Pacers

I guess James did in fact score 29 points… But it was on 23 shots; he was not even the leading scorer of the game. That honor went to Paul George with 32 (here’s to hoping George ends up awesome once again). Kevin Love was actually the monster of this game, scoring 21 points while pulling down 19 rebounds. Jeez! Besides those boards, KLove also had a game-high three blocks.

Outcome: Cavs by 4

The Top 8

Pacers 97, Cavs 101

Game Eight: Jazz at Cavs 11/10/15

ESPN Headline: James scores 31, sparks comeback as Cavaliers beat Jazz

LBJ did in fact score a game-high 31 points.

BUT!

My God Mo Williams had an offensive game. 8-9 from the field and 9-10 from the charity stripe? That is some peak Dwayne Wade performance right there. The scary thing is that when Kyrie comes back he will — as would be logical for a max contract number one draft pick — re-ascend to his position in the starting lineup… Mo will probably be able to absolutely feast on opposing second teams!

I’m a little overall wary of the Cavs lineup though. Right now two of the five best Cavs are point guards (Mo and Delly). You have to figure one or both are going to sacrifice minutes to Kyrie (which is fine if Kyrie can return at All-Star level)… But! It’s not like minutes and positions are fungible. The best players on the team are (unsurprisingly) Tristan at PF and LBJ at SF… Rounded out by the resplendent KLove also at PF.

My all-time favorite Cav Anderson Varejao is not playing like anything to write home about this season, and Mozgov has been slightly below replacement level so far. If you want to play Best Six basketball (you know, like in the playoffs [unless you are GSW or SAS]) I don’t know if you want three of those six to be your three shortest players.

It’s possible this is one of those situations where my good friend Patrick Chapin says people grouse about the $100 bill you hand them because they don’t like how it’s folded.

Outcome: Cavs by 4

The Top 8

Jazz 114, Cavs 118

Jeez Mo Williams. All-Star Game #2?

Game Nine: Cavs at Knicks 11/13/15

ESPN Headline: Cavaliers limit Knicks in fourth quarter to pull out 8th straight win

An utterly accurate headline; the Knickerbockers thumped the Cavs 30-17 in the second frame, and were consequently up by six going into the fourth. The Cavs held New York’s Finest to twelve — 12 — points in the fourth quarter; and that was all she wrote.

Outcome: Cavs by 6

The Top 8

Cavs at Knicks

Ew. What a gross game.

Timofey — the best player in Cavs-at-Knicks — would not have been the fifth best player in the preceding Jazz game. Everyone played awful. Love scored seven points on ten shot attempts; not even his eleven rebounds could salvage such poor shooting. LeBron only needed 21 shots to produce 31 points, but he was uncharacteristically low on rebounds (while heavy on fouls). Tristan only made four points on — again ew — four shot attempts.

If there is a shining light — for Knickerbockers fans at least — it’s that Zinger looks like he is going to be a real NBA player.

Game Ten: Cavs at Bucks 11/14/15

ESPN Headline: Bucks outlast Cavs in 2OT as LeBron James held in check late

This is the kind of game that makes you hate sports narratives. Hate HATE HATE. The Cavs got the rebound with about eight seconds left and the game tied at the end of the first of two overtimes. The ref called an inadvertent whistle from the Cavaliers bench. David Blatt did not call timeout!

LeBron had the ball with almost eight seconds on the clock. Is there anyone in all these planes of Dominia who thinks he wouldn’t have at least picked up a foul with Hero Ball on the stack? Yeah, me neither. Bucks get a stop on the not-fast-breaking Cavs, win by three in the second OT 🙁

Outcome: Bucks by 3

The Top 8

Cavs 105, Bucks 108

Like I said… I can’t stand sports narrative sometimes. Love and James played great (along with Greg Monroe of the Bucks). What the “Top 8” doesn’t tell you is that those PGs I was bragging about earlier? Mo put up all of four points on eight shots; Delly zero on three; they did have three and four turnovers, respectively. So basically most of the boys had relatively weak games. Even Mr. Consistent Tristan Thompson only had four rebounds (but three personal fouls). To look at the box score you could reasonably stomach a loss here… But knowing about the bad whistle kind of ruins it all.

LOVE
MIKE

The Top 8 is produced via Simple Models of Player Performance + Box Score data from ESPN.com

17

NOV 2015

Into The Badlands: Episode 1, The Fort

Posted by Brian David-Marshall | Hollywood, TV

Excited but nervous was how I would describe my reaction to seeing the trailer for AMC’s newest show that debuted last night in the ultra cushy time slot right after WALKING DEAD. Excited, because the trailer was visually stunning and the action scenes conjured up memories of Shaw Brothers martial arts flicks that would air weekend afternoons on Channel 5 growing up. Nervous because…well…let’s just say they focused squarely on the art direction and the fight choreography in those commercials.

The show opens on a motorcycle ripping through a field of bright red poppies while exposition washes over you about how nobody can remember the time before the chaos that led to a feudal state with seven barons ruling the world in (and I am just guessing here ) an uneasy alliance. Guns have been outlawed and order is enforced by armies of men known as Clippers. As we meet Sunny, our Clipper (and again, I am assuming here) with a heart of gold, he is pulling up to the corpse of another Clipper with a hatchet stuck in his forehead. There is an overturned truck and a row of dead prisoners, their throats sliced.

One prisoner is missing and Sunny immediately spots a fire nearby and drives to investigate. And by investigate I mean “kick the living shit out a dozen nomads” camped around a fire. They end up giving their lives to protect the contents of a trunk. Sunny takes the men out one by one without even seeming like he is in any danger of getting a scratch. He runs up the trunk of a tree and flips over assailants, he disembowels multiple people with their own weapons, and never even needs to reach for his sword which he confidently left leaning against his bike when he approached the group.

And this is all before the opening title sequence which left me scrambling to IMDB to find out more about Daniel Wu who plays Sunny. (I learned that he was born in the US, was in a Hong Kong boy bond, once dated Maggie Q, and has made a LOT of a martial arts films in his career.) When he opens the trunk a young, scared boy — M.K. — pops out and tries to run away but Sunny quickly subdues him. The boy wakes up as Sunny is burying the bodies that the nomads had left behind when the kidnapped him. The boy reveals that someone known as The Widow paid them to find him. The boy asks to be let go but Sunny says he is going to be taken back to The Fort to work in his Baron’s poppy fields.

The Fort is surrounded by serfs working in the beautiful — seriously they look amazing — poppy fields. Inside the fort we see an army of clippers, that would make the Gramercy Riffs think twice, doing their exercises. Sunny tells M.K. that he will be fighting among the Colts — Clippers in training — and brings him to hear Quinn, the Baron of the The Fort, address the young Clipper-wannabes. Quinn is played by Marton Csokas, who was the breakout villain in THE EQUALIZER, and he plays the part one part antebellum slave owner and one part SOHO hipster, telling these young men that “there is no God in the Badlands”. Quinn is the only person who can offer them a path out of debt and misery. They can fight their way to become a Clipper and if they become a Clipper they become like family. He shows the boys Sunny’s back which is tattoo adorned with a tick mark for every life he has taken in the service of the Baron. Sunny was once a pathetic wretch like them but Quinn took him in and forged him into the man standing before them today. He promises that such a fate could await them as well.

M.K. has attracted special attention from the Baron because of his mention of The Widow. The boy has no knowledge of why anyone would be interested in him. Quinn cautions him against lying and sends him to fight in the pits to take his measure. Meanwhile, Quinn’s son, Ryder approaches his father and urges him to take action against The Widow. Sunny is opposed and clearly has more influence over the Quinn than his own flesh and blood. Ryder’s does a lot of glowering in Sunny’s direction.

M.K. hesitantly walks toward the pits but before he can do anything he is ambushed by Ajax, who we saw during Quinn’s motivational speech was eager to become a Clipper. Ajax tears a medallion from around M.K.’s neck and challenges him to take it back. The two begin fighting but it is broken up by Sunny who sees the bronze medallion, which depicts an urban skyline that looks suspiciously like New York City, and has a jolt of recognition. He sends Ajax away and keeps the medallion for himself. Ryder watches this all from atop the wall surrounding The Pits while M.K. finds an ally in Bale who warns him about Ajax’s violent ambitions.

Quinn returns to the poppy plantation to be chided by his wife Lydia. Multiple barons have declined the invitation to his eight wedding. He dismisses her concerns as jealousy but she assures him he can have as many wives as he sees fits. Quinn is racked by a headache so severe it has accompanying music and Lydia urges him to hand off some of his responsibilities to Ryder. Quinn scoffs at the notion that Ryder is up to the task and Lydia reminds him of “everything that boy sacrificed for you”.

Sunny goes back to his bunk and takes out a compass that has similar markings to the medallion he took from M.K. He flashes back to a memory of him as a small child taking the compass from the hand of a man whose throat had been slit — in a similar fashion to the prisoners from the beginning of the episode — but his reverie is interrupted by Ryder. He demands to know what Sunny took from the boy. Sunny slips the compass into his pocket and flips the medallion to Ryder, who wants to know if Sunny has ever seen anything like this before. “No,” lies Sunny.

Sunny travels into the Badlands where his visits Veil, his lover who has taught him how to read. She reveals that she is pregnant and Sunny tells her she cannot keep it. He makes it clear that to keep the baby would carry punishment by death (although it is not clear for whom). She tells him she has heard stories of lands that exist beyond the Badlands that they could run to. “I know buried under all this ink there is a good man,” she implores.

“You’re wrong,” he assures her.

Ajax jumps M.K again, this time in the catacombs where they bunk, and draws blood when he knocks him to the ground. Upon seeing the blood M.K.’s eyes go black and he kicks Ajax into a mirror which sends shards of glass shrapnel into the air. M.K. seamlessly snatches one of the shards and flings it into Ajax’s eye before collapsing in front of a stunned Sunny. When he regains consciousness in Sunny’s quarters M.K. explains that something takes control of him when he bleeds. He and his mother left their home when he was little to find a healer who could cure him. They were beset by nomads and separated. He has been searching for her ever since. Sunny shows him the compass and M.K. explains to Sunny that he found something that depicts his home of Azra, which lies beyond the Badlands.

Sunny goes back to see Veil, perhaps with some hope of starting a family in Azra, but cannot bring himself to go through the door to her shop. He is confronted by sword wielding — and bowler-wearing — assailants in a stunning battle in the pouring rain that looked like it could have been cut straight of out of Tsai Hark movie. While the fight someone watches on from a car. As Sunny slices the last assailants throat The Widow emerges from the car and flaunts that Sunny cannot harm him. She demands that Sunny bring her the boy from The Fort and shows him a piece of paper with the same symbol of Azra.

Meanwhile, M.K. — despite Sunny’s warnings — attempts to retrieve his medallion from Ryder’s room but is captured. Lydia hears the commotion and comes in and is obviously startled by the sight of the medallion. Ryder declares that M.K. will be killed at dawn as an example to the other Colts. While awaiting execution M.K. is visited by Sunny and the boy tries to make him promise to find his mother. Sunny frees the boy and tells him to find her himself. He brings him to a tunnel that will take him out of the fort and warns him that if he is caught he will be killed. He is giving M.K. the choice he never had. Lydia observes them as Sunny facilitates the escape.

stag night

Sunny is summoned to Quinn’s mancave which seems like it was furnished during a raid on a Hammacher Schlemmer ̶w̶̶̶h̶̶̶o̶̶̶r̶̶̶e̶̶̶h̶̶̶o̶̶̶u̶̶̶s̶̶̶e̶̶̶ warehouse. Actually everything about the Baron and The Fort is intensely male. He has George Bellows’ painting Stag Night at Starkey’s hanging over his mantle, he is about to take his eighth wife, and all of his servants, Colts, and Clippers are all male. He clearly has a paternal regard for Sunny and wants him to be closer to the main house even though it will upset Ryder (who unbeknownst to Quinn is sleeping with the woman who is about to be the eighth person he calls Mommy).

All in all it was, as I expected, gorgeous, action-packed, and more than a little trope-laden on story. I am definitely going to keep watching for the action scenes alone, if nothing else. It is safe to say it is the most successful Western implementation of martial arts fight choreography that I can recall in a Western film, much less on a television show. Also Stephen Lang joins the cast for four of the six episodes and I would watch a show with far worse fight choreography to see him in anything.

16

NOV 2015

The Leftovers, Season 2, Ep. 6 Recap for “A Most Powerful Adversary”

Posted by Katherine Recap | TV

[For “A Most Powerful Adversary”or any other recaps on Fetchland, assume the presence of possible spoilers.]

HBO Summary:
A Most Powerful Adversary Nora gives Kevin and Jill some news; Laurie makes a rash decision; Kevin explores his options.

“A Most Powerful Adversary” wins the award for the most misleading TV summary ever. None of those three tiny phrases give us any indication of the shitstorm to come. But it’s a comin’… in spades. This episode is all about Kevin and the delusions that reign within his brain. It opens as he awakens in his usual handcuffed-to-the-bed state to find that Nora is gone. She packed a suitcase, took the baby and Mary, then vamoosed. He shouldn’t have told Nora about the voices, Patti reminds him. Isn’t it just like an imaginary friend to say “I told you so,”? Then Jill enters and asks where everybody is and what’s going on. Kevin asks her to get the bolt cutters so he can unhandcuff himself. Jill leaves and then brings back an envelope from Nora. She asks what he did. Kevin won’t say so she reads the letter. All it says is, “Mary and the baby are with me. Don’t call.” Pissed off Jill then leaves abruptly to the hollow tones of Kevin’s, “I’m gonna fix this,” the screen door slams and Patti tells him it’s gonna be a hard day.

Jill goes to the church and tells Michael everything about her dad and grandfather, their voices and sleepwalking, etc. Michael says he talks to someone who’s not there too… Then she asks if God is the one telling him they can fool around but not fuck. He says it’s just that he doesn’t want to because he doesn’t know if he loves her. Then Pissed off Jill is on the move again, storming out of the church.

Kevin goes to the hardware store to see if they can help him cut the leftover wristbit of the handcuffs but then he screws it up by yelling at Patti to “shut the fuck up!” She doesn’t stop her incessant yammering, though, no matter what he says. Michael comes up beside the truck where Kevin’s “talking to Patti” and gets in the front seat. Michael tells Kevin he knows about Patti and says his grandfather, Virgil can help Kevin get rid of her. Michael then directs him to the same spot in the woods where Erika went in the last episode, Virgil’s trailer with the bird-breeding cage nearby.

Virgil comes out to the truck and says for Kevin to come inside, but just him; Patti and Michael aren’t invited. Once inside Kevin finds out he was in this trailer with Virgil the night of the earthquake when the girls went missing during is blackout. Virgil tells Kevin he has to die to face Patti on her turf and defeat her. Kevin says he doesn’t understand and Virgil says, “You understood last time,” thus explaining why Kevin jumped off the cliff that night. Patti’s turf is the land of the dead. Virgil tells him what they have in common is “a most powerful adversary,” and says he vanquished his when John shot him. Virgil’s adversary had “made him do terrible things” (to little boys?) so he’d fought him in death and won, after which Virgil was reborn.

He says he can temporarily kill Kevin. Then Pissed-off-Kevin storms out. Virgil shouts after him, “Come back when you’re ready,” but at that point Kevin’s already screaming his way through the woods for Patti. He confronts her and says she lied to him. She didn’t mention how he’d gone to Virgil’s trailer that night when he blacked out. Patti says so what and then slaps him when he says Virgil knows how to get rid of her. She’s not scared to battle him, Patti says, “Let’s go,” she pronounces, like a drunk at a bar egging on for a beatdown.

Kevin keeps calling Nora but when his phone finally rings it’s not Nora calling but Laurie who’s waiting for him at Miracle’s entrance gate. Kevin talks to her through a chain link fence. It’s been so long since he’s seen her that he’s surprised to see she’s even talking. Laurie says she needs to talk to Tommy. Kevin says Tommy isn’t there and why would she think he was there? She says because Tommy’s in touch with Jill. Kevin asks if Tommy’s OK and she says he’s fine. But Laurie senses that Kevin’s not OK and leaves, ignoring his screams for her not to go. She pisses him off even more than he already was – a possibility that was impossible only moments before.

Kevin then goes to the fire house and asks John for help cutting off the leftover handcuff bit on his wrist. While there he gives his handprint. The fire fighters are taking them as part of the investigation into the missing girls. There was a mysterious handprint on the car – Kevin’s. It turns out the firehouse bolt cutters are missing and they can’t help him with his handcuff but he’s already given his handprint at that point, thus royally fucking himself. Back in his truck Patti points out that he went in there to get free and instead got caught. The only time she ever felt free was when she killed herself, she continues. That’s what free is – dead.

In the next scene Kevin goes home to find Jill waiting. She tells him to get it together and fix this. It’s the second time he’s screwing up his family… her family too. Kevin then goes to Laurie’s hotel and tells her all about Patti. They smoke together. His secret smoking was a source of contention in their marriage so – comedic irony. Then Laurie, who’s a shrink, tells Kevin that Patti wants to stay away from her because she can prove Patti doesn’t exist by testing her with things only Laurie and Patti would know. She tells Kevin what he’s seeing isn’t real, using her shrink chops big time. He’s having a psychotic break, just like his father.

Laurie gives him the story of what she and Tommy did. She explains that after trauma people’s delusions relieve them of emotional pain by making the world seem understandable again when their reality is unbearable because it hurts so much. Laurie tells Kevin he needs medication. He asks if she changed her last name and she says no. Her last name is still Garvey and he could bring her into Miracle, passing as his wife. Kevin wants her to come home with him, “You said I need help. So, help,” he says. So, Laurie goes home with him. He gives her the guest bed where Mary was sleeping.

Then Nora calls but won’t tell him where she is. He tells her there’s a way he can get better but he needs to know she’ll believe him when he says Patti’s gone. Nora says she’ll believe him. He asks if she’ll come back and Nora says she’d like that. Then Jill walks in and sees Laurie so, yet again it’s time for Pissed-off-Jill. She screams for her dad to tell her what’s going on but Kevin just peeled out of the driveway in his pickup. He goes straight to the trailer in the woods where Michael is “just leaving,” and says God be with you to Kevin on the way out. Once inside Virgil gives him poison to stop his heart and explains that he’ll shoot his heart with epinephrine after a few minutes to revive him. Kevin asks if he’s done this before and he gives the example of the guy up on the pillar in the town square as a “success story,” Uh Oh.

Kevin is about to drink the poison when he stops and asks Patti if she wants him to do this or not. She says she does. Kevin then tells her how Laurie said he’s psychotic like his dad. His father told him he vanquished his own voices by finally doing what they told him. Thus, Kevin drinks the poison right as Patti screams, “Kevin stop!” then he’s dead on the floor with scary white death drooling out the corner of his mouth. Virgil fills the needle with epinephrine but drops it on the floor. Instead of picking it up to inject the needle into Kevin, Virgil picks up a gun and eats it, shooting himself without hesitation. Michael enters right then and shakes his head at his dead grandfather’s body then pulls Kevin across the linoleum. It’s unclear where Michael’s taking him but it’s definitely farther away from the epinephrine, not closer. Virgil’s suicide is unexpected for a number of reasons, timing for one, but also because it was he who told Kevin, “Life is precious,” earlier in the episode when Kevin told him he didn’t really want to die.

It’s fascinating how The Leftovers probes into the power of belief especially as a salve within the agony of trauma. Kevin will do anything at all, even die, in order to avoid the possibility that he could have a mental weakness. He’d also rather believe his father’s delusions than face the fact that his father was actually sick. It’s a veritable shitstorm of magical thinking that kills Kevin in this episode. He simply can’t hear Laurie, even though he goes to her for help and seemingly wants more when he brings her home. During his phonecall with Nora we don’t know if he’s going to get rid of Patti via medication, as Laurie suggests, or via Virgil’s death route. We only know he thinks he’ll succeed at extricating Patti. This keeps us clutching to the hope that Kevin will take the sane route. Thus, we’re engaged in our own brand of magical thinking throughout the episode too. Kevin’s dead as of the end of “A Most Powerful Adversary” but still we cling to the hope that somehow he’s going to be OK. The Leftovers does that to us. It wraps us in beautiful, hopeful delusions… before ripping them out from underneath.

–Katherine Recap

12

NOV 2015

American Horror Story – Hotel, Ep. 6 Recap “Room 33”

Posted by Katherine Recap | TV

[For American Horror Story – Hotel “Room 33” or any other recaps on Fetchland, assume the presence of possible spoilers.]

FX Summary:
Room 33 Ramona and Donovan enact their plan for revenge; Liz Taylor finds true love.

The title of episode “Room 33” raises the hairs at the back of one’s neck because in the first episode we heard Iris say she was “going to feed that thing in Room 33,” with a dreadful tone – an indelible detail. But the real fun of “Room 33” comes from the ways the episode follows through on this theme of three with titillating threesomes.

The episode begins with The Countess in 1926, when she was a mere Mrs. Johnson. Married and pregnant with a gargantuan belly, she visits a doctor to help her with this problem. She claims her husband somehow has no idea she’s pregnant and that she’s only three weeks along. So, her doctor/patient relationship is off to an honest start at least. He takes her to a dirty basement where a nurse shows concern about Mrs. Johnson’s temperature being only seventy five degrees. So, she must already be a vampire at this point, a pregnant vampire. The doctor then extracts the baby and the nurse whispers, “It’s alive,” in horror before the baby seemingly lunges at her. Then the creepy doc swaddles and places it on the pre-countess, Mrs. Johnson’s chest saying, “Congratulations, it’s a boy.” A bit later she visits the baby in a dark attic nursery and tells him, “Mommy’s going to Paris but then she’ll have lots and lots of money and will never have to leave you again,” thus providing this mysterious being with a lifetime’s worth of mommy issues in a mere one minute scene. We won’t see his face until the very last shot of the episode but soon find out his name is Bartholomew.

In the next scene John Lowe wakes up to find Holden in his bed and chases the vampire boy down the hall to his casket room in the empty swimming pool. There John sees the vampire kids in their clear coffins as well as his wife, Alex, who wakes just enough to see him seeing her. And yes, he sees her seeing him seeing her. It’s a trifecta of terror that perfectly encapsulates their marriage. They see each other perfectly well but inevitably deny they see anything, as will later happen when Alex pretends this incident never occurred between them.

Then Liz Taylor and Tristan are having great sex in Ms. Taylor’s bedroom. Liz gives him some Bronte and Oscar Wilde to help develop Tristan’s tiny starved model brain cells a bit. The better to fall in love with, Liz hopes. In fact, they talk about love and Tristan seems genuinely smitten with her. Part of it seems to be that he can still tell himself he’s not gay because Liz Taylor identifies as a hetero female though she still has a penis. She may even feel the same way about Tristan, Liz admits but she’s concerned The Countess wouldn’t approve of their relationship. So, there’s already a third wheel in their relationship at the very beginning. Speaking of The Countess, it’s now time for another, less industrious sex scene. What this sex scene needs is a third participant! The Countess tries to entice Will Drake but can’t get him off or even a bit hard because Will’s hardcore into dick. So, she texts Tristan asking him to come to her suite and fluff Drake a bit for her. Tristan insists he’s not gay but gets busy with Drake for her sake anyway. He’s such a trooper, that Tristan.

Alex then approaches Liz Taylor at the front desk for help because John saw her in her coffin so now he knows. Then she and Ms. Taylor “get rid of those coffins,” before Alex goes to John’s room. Lowe immediately confronts her saying he saw her in a coffin but she’s got a story about him calling her to say he was having visions. She tells John it makes sense because that’s the same story Scarlett told them. He’s just empathizing with his little girl by having the same visions she had. John then runs out on her and back to the coffin room to prove what he saw was real but, of course, she and Liz had removed everything by now… so, he’s back to his appearance vs reality conundrum. Time to hit the bottle.

Ramona and Donovan then visit the Hotel Cortez together. While they ride up in the elevator she’s pulls a shiny hunting knife out of her handbag, ready to slice up some vampire kiddies. Ramona’s excited and eager but Donovan’s a bit hesitant (still hung up on The Countess) so she says she’ll take care of the killing part herself. In the empty swimming pool she gets pissed that the kid coffins are missing now. Iris joins her and says she agrees the kids have to go first if they want to take out The Countess. Along with Bartholomew, they are The Countess’s only reason to continue living. Ramona then searches further for the vampire babies, especially Bartholomew. She finds the black-eyed-baby-monster-we-still-can’t-quite-see in a creepy bedroom. Ramona sing songs for him to come out and see “Auntie Ramona” while she holds her shiny hunting knife high and ready for stabby time. But then in the next scene she’s nursing a scratched cheek at the bar with Liz and asks if “they found it” about Bartholomew so the little monster somehow escaped her dagger and Alex has thus now been enlisted for the job of finding the baby monster. Ms. Taylor tells Ramona she has to get out of the Hotel Cortez right away because the sight of her will upset The Countess. Liz explains that things need to be calm right now because she’s in love with The Countess’s hottie, Tristan. She wouldn’t be able to negotiate with a fired up and feisty Countess.

Meanwhile Donovan is all up in The Countess suite, sniffing panties and such, until interrupted by the dead swedish model duo who are realizing that they’re dead. He tells them they have to find their purpose or they’ll be like hamsters on a wheel. That’s the hotel’s power over dead guests. Donovan tells them the story of a guest named Cara who killed herself in a Hotel Cortez tub. She remained aimless for months until she found her purpose – terrorizing guests of the hotel for kicks. That’s her reprieve from the hamster wheel. Her fun. So, they have to find their own kicks. In the Swedish duo’s first attempt they sex up a guest before killing him – threesome time! But it’s ultimately unsatisfying and they clearly haven’t found their purpose yet… Then they encounter Alex and she tells them killing isn’t where the fun’s at. They’ve got to mess with men’s minds. Alex proposes the perfect scenario. She knows this guy who’s always wanted two girls. Um, yeah Alex, pretty much every guy on the planet meets that criteria. But, of course, we know she’s talking about John and wants to mess with his mind so he forgets she’s now a vampire.

John’s already messing with his own mind, drinking out of a bottle in the hallway. Liz Taylor approaches him and tries to help but Lowe screams that he’d rather just have his breakdown, THANKS. After Liz leaves the two Swedish model types sidle up to him and before he knows it they’re headed to boner town – threesome time again! It’s all quite delightful until the Swedish duo start slicing each other up and bleeding everywhere, spilling blood all over his body while they still gyrate on his every skin cell. When the blood finally overcomes his lust, John runs naked and covered in blood to the lobby where Liz says it looks like his breakdown is progressing well. Then they return together to his room where the Swedish dead duo are so happy now. They say they’ve found their purpose, messing with the heads of horndogs. Goodie for them. James March even makes an appearance to John just to say it looks like he’s finally making himself properly at home in the Hotel Cortez. This propels him to leave. John packs his bags and goes home to Scarlet.

Sad Scarlet tells him Alex hasn’t been home for two days. He promises to make things right again for her. But then it seems like something is pulsating in his suitcase and suddenly he’s chasing whatever it is, eventually finding and shooting it in the kitchen. But then it still gets away, three bullets later, leaving a blood trail. After the shootout Alex and the cops come to the house to help and John’s boss ends up driving Scarlet away in his patrol car while Alex attempts to comfort John who’s upset that Scarlet’s afraid of him now. He says he knows Alex is going back to the Cortez for the night but she won’t outwardly admit it. Then he goes inside and Alex pokes around their yard, still looking for monster baby Bartholomew.

The Countess returns from a blissful getaway with the Drake when she encounters Liz Taylor who finally tells her she’s in love with Tristan. Ms. Taylor calmly explains that The Countess is just playing with Tristan but there’s a real love developing between them. So, let’s all three talk The Countess suggests. The trio talk in Liz Taylor’s humble bedroom. Tristan says The Countess only orgasm come from the heartbreak she causes. She gets a thrill from the moving on part, he says. Then Ms. Taylor pleads with The Countess, “Please just let me have this one, “ and The Countess asks Tristan if this is what he wants as well. When Tristan nods she says fine that Ms. Taylor can have Tristan. But then she slits his throat and tells Liz, “He’s yours. Bury him,” and leaves. It’s unclear what will happen now with Tristan. Does burying him kill him? Or will he come back different? Time will tell. After this she goes to Bartholomew’s room where Alex is caring for her monster baby. The Countess seems grateful that she “saved my son,” and Alex points out that The Countess saved hers as well, although kidnapping and turning a child into a vampire is a fairly progressive definition of lifesaving in some circles. Then we see that Bartholomew lives in Room 33 before the camera finally reveals his face. Let’s just say it’s one that only a mother could love.

–Katherine Recap