Posted by Katherine Recap | TV

[For Scream Queens‘ “Ghost Stories” or any other recaps on Fetchland, assume the presence of possible spoilers.]

FOX Summary:
Ghost Stories Denise tells a terrifying ghost story; a familiar face returns; the killer claims another victim.

Nick Jonas, AKA Boone, is now full blown back on Scream Queens and Chanel No. 3 assumes he’s a ghost. She apologizes for outing his gayness then says she’s sorta gay now too, to which Boone replies, “Boo!” and she’s actually kinda scared. Back at the Kappa house Chanel preps outfits for Thanksgiving dinner with Chad’s parents in the Hamptons while the other Chanel’s fantasize out loud about murdering her. She’s pretty intolerable with the whole “marrying Chad is the only thing that matters” thing, like a ceaseless, brainless parrot.

Denise supervises and advises while Chanel packs for her trip and Chanel No, 3 tells them about how she saw the ghost of dead gay Boone on the quad. This inspires Denise to tell them a terrifying ghost story so they’ll be scared of a fake thing rather than a real one. It’s a brilliant plan, no doubt. She tells them a Japanese ghost story about a ghost called The Kappa. It snatches you by the vagina when you drop trou and go to the bathroom, then it drags you into raw sewage. The end. This is followed by other stories, none of which quite do the trick. The Kappa girls are just flat out more terrified than ever. Then Denise is attacked by the Red Devil in the bathroom but she gets away and heads into Chanel’s room. There she demands that they tell her a scary ghost story so she can move on from this horrifying experience. Hester tells one circa 1950s with bobby socks, saddle shoes, and cool cars along with the meathook killer. Luckily, it does the job on Denise.Then, for some reason, Chanel No. 5 gets feisty, declares that she’s getting off campus before the serial killer gets her, and storms out.

At the frat house Boone visits Chad who also assumes he’s a ghost. Chad asks him why he came back and Boone explains that the phrase “Once you go black you never go back,” means he can be come back from the dead if he has sex with Zayday. Of course, Chad believes this. Meanwhile Zayday is finally kissing her hot boyfriend, Earl Grey. So, then when Earl slips out to get the sensual massage oil to heat things up between them Boone climbs in Zayday’s window. He tells her his shirt is made of boyfriend material and says he’s a ghost here to seduce her. But Zayday tells him the problem with his story is that she doesn’t believe in ghosts. Then Grace rushes in and it turns out she doesn’t believe in them either. When they tell Boone they don’t beleive he’s a ghost he somehow disappears – likely out the window. Then Earl Grey returns with his basket of sensual delights but before he gets inside Kappa house Boone, dressed as the Red Devil, kills him. Meanwhile a different Red Devil rides in the back seat of Chanel No. 5’s car while she drives home for Thanksgiving but a trucker saves her life and ends up sacrificing his own in the process. This inspires No 5 to drive back to campus because now she has a scary story to tell. She’s not the most logical Chanel… and that’s saying a lot.

Hester then shows up at Chad’s with a bedazzled neckbrace. When he’s turned off by it she explains that she has to wear it again because her spinal cord was collapsing. Chad then tells Hester a multitude of reasons why he invited Chanel instead of her to Thanksgiving. His list includes: her breath, a fart, and her neckbrace. Hester is beside herself and returns to the Chanels now bursting with her own brand of horror story. She declares that not only did she sleep with Chad but she’s also now pregnant as a result. Chanel then confronts Chad about it and he admits the truth about sleeping with Hester several times. Then he says, “Guess I have to marry her now and take her home for Thanksgiving. But you can still be my piece on the side.” Shockingly, Chanel doesn’t find this comforting and threatens to kill him. He then has a moment of Chad clarity and asks her if she’s the killer to which Chanel just smirks and says, “I guess we’ll see.”

She then tells the Chanels they all have to get together in Kappa sisterhood and kill Hester. That way she can get Chad back and marry him and happily ever after and blah blah blah. Meanwhile downstairs Detective Chisolm asks Zayday and Grace for a sketch of Boone the ghost even though he already has several pictures of him form when he was alive. It turns out Chisolm believes the reason he hasn’t found the killer is because the killer must be a ghost. Why else would the killer so easily get away with all this relentless killing right under Chisolm’s nose? So, Boone being a ghost AND the killer fits right into this particular theory. The detective even brought a paranormal expert in to help with the investigation. After Detective Chisolm and his expert leave, shunned by the Kappas and Dean Munsch for this ridiculous theory, the Dean tells Zayday and Grace a story. She says there were two babies born in that bathtub and one of them was Boone – she’d recognized that baby’s distinctive smirk on Boone’s frat boy mug right away.

Then we’re at Gigi’s apartment where Boone then tells his sad rejection story about Zayday to a guy in the Red Devil outfit and Gigi. She tells Boone he’s the weakest link and she’s going to off him. Boone replies that he was that baby in the bathtub and he did everything for her, even pretended to be gay and that she was his mother but she’s not thankful to him and she’s certainly not his mother. Then Boone says they’re going to kill her. He looks to his Red-Devil-suited sibling to do the deed and they raise the knife but instead of attacking Gigi, they kill Boone instead. Gigi points out that Boone was the Red Devil’s brother… so, perhaps if’s a girl in the suit after all. It all depends on if indeed Boone was one of the bathtub babies. Our source for that info is the Dean, after all, so not 100% reliable.

Meanwhile back at Kappa house the Chanels corner Hester forcing her to pee on twenty pregnancy sticks before they’ll allow her to leave with Chad for the Hamptons. Rather than submit to all that urination, Hester admits to lying about being pregnant but announces that now she can go spend the weekend with him and have ample opportunities to get pregnant. Then Hester’s about to escape but Chanel pushes her down that extraordinary Kappa house spiral staircase and kills her. She says the best part about this murder is that now she’s created the best ghost story of all. It’s about a girl in a neckbrace who tried to steal a hotter girl’s boyfriend. Those really are the coolest stories a sorority sister can tell, after all.

So, all signs still point to Chanel as the killer. She could certainly be Boone’s long lost sister because maybe after the bathtub incident she was adopted into her rich family. The Scream Queens season was recently shortened from an original fifteen episodes to thirteen so that leaves four remaining and thus far the only characters we know for certain have killed people are Chanel and Dean Munsch, who killed her husband’s mistress, Feather. Chanel, in fact, killed a woman early on in the very first episode for a ridiculous reason and without a bit of remorse. So, the only question is why would Chanel bother with all this dressing up in devil costumes and involving Gigi stuff? If the Red Devil serial killer is indeed Chanel, we need to know what exactly it is she’s avenging to parse all those details. Maybe the next four episodes will surprise us with a different/better suspect or perhaps they’ll further explain this course of Chanel-as-killer reasoning. Not that Scream Queens involves a lot of reasoning but when we find out the killer it should make some sort of sense – as long as it’s not a Chanel explaining it

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