Ruining Big Brother 18 – June 29th

There are two different experiences, both called “Big Brother”.

One is the television show Big Brother, as the CBS producers present it to broadcast tv audiences, three times per week. But the other is what is actually going on in the Big Brother house; the experience of the house guests, unfiltered — or at least less filtered — by television editors.

Fetchland presents Ruining Big Brother. It’s less “spoiling” Big Brother and more pulling back the curtain, to ruin our collective illusions about reality television. Enjoy! Or better yet, recoil in horror…

Daily BB House Stats:
HOH – Nicole
HOH Nominated – Jozea, Paulie
Roadkill Comp Winner – Frank
RK Nominated – Bridgette
Veto Winner – Paul

Have-Nots – currently none
Punishment Status – Bridgette, Frank, Michelle, Paulie wear nudie pixel suits

Team Unicorn is safe for first 2 evictions
Corey, Tiffany are safe for 2nd eviction

Team Big Sister: Da’vonne, Paul, Zakiyah, Jozea
Team Category 4: Frank, Michelle, Paulie, Bridgette
Team Freakazoids: Nicole, Corey, Tiffany
Team Unicorn: James, Natalie, Victor, Bronte

Yes, there was a TV show June 29th, but it mostly covered old ground with a few exceptions. The REAL story for this day circled back to Bronte’s lie about James. Basically saying he told Natalie that Victor asked Nicole out. There was also a tiny Tiffany drama later on (technically on the 30th because after midnight – but why quibble?). We know James never told Natalie anything of the kind but the crazy thing we found out June 29th is that indeed, Victor did ask Nicole out. That part, the hardest part to believe, WASN’T a lie. It’s just like the telenovela Natalie joked about the house becoming and it features the two houseguests who actually look like they could star in a telenovela – Natalie and Victor. Game on, bros! Turns out James didn’t tell Natalie but he DID tell Bronte and Bridgette about Victor asking out Nicole. When Nicole confronts him about his big mouth, James says he was simply driving a wedge between the newbies. Nicole doesn’t like this strategy, though because now she might be a target for Victor if it comes out that she told someone about his proposition.

So, about tonight’s episode, we’re pretty much only going to cover subjects Fetchland didn’t already cover. The TV episode shows a lot of funny stuff on June 29th. In the doggie-themed veto competition houseguests need to circle on sit n’spin type twisters fifteen times then stack treats in a precarious balanced formation while still in their dizzy state. Nicole is hilarious in her seemingly drunken attempts. Jozea handles the spinning OK and Da’vonne is also playing quite well until her stack of treats falls while Jozea’s teeters. Meanwhile Paul and Paulie are neck and neck until Paul quickly wins it all. This, of course gives Jozea even more confidence. Then we see Jozea telling Frank how he’s the glue holding the house together and the messiah. Although we already knew these things, it’s good to note that the TV viewing audience now also knows about Jozea’s grand delusions. Later in the diary room Jozea starts his next sentence with, “As leader of this house…” before leading the “secret” meeting everyone knows about.

Meanwhile James ends up crashing the secret meeting by just sitting there in the open and it’s freaking hilarious to watch how oblivious Jozea is to the significance of this. Mama Day bites the inside of her cheeks so as not to laugh at Jozea in his dog costume being so serious while preaching at the meeting. She says, “You’re making dogs look bad,” about it in the diary room later. Jozea asks where Bridgette is during his sacred secret meeting and Bronte tells the group she’s spying on the HOH room to see what happens in their absence. Later in the kitchen when Paulie flat out asks Jozea to his face why he wasn’t invited to the house meeting, Jozea responds that “We run this house, we run this house and that’s it,” and he should be able to hold any meetings he wants anytime he wants. Period. It’s impressive that Paulie keeps his cool through Jozea’s eerie self-aggrandizing non-answer, we imagine it could be a challenge to keep one’s head from exploding.

But let’s get back to the real stuff; the June 29th feeds. At the end of the evening the 8Pack sit around HOH chatting happily when Paula and Natalie come up to show them the funky fun makeup they did on each other. Afterwards it occurs to Paul that Zak and Day are up there with those six guys “on the other side” an awful lot. He mentions it to Jozea, concerned and, of course, Jozea remains confident still. He says they can trust Day and Zak 100% because they “don’t want caucasians to win this game”.

A bit later Frank tells Natalie (still in the funky make up Paul put on her) in the kitchen that “Whether it’s game or not, the story you were told was a lie is NOT a lie”. Then Natalie says it’s the lie that bothers her, not if Victor asked Nicole out or not. Frank tells her it’s been said by that team many times that “girls are expendable in this game,” and asks her if she thinks James is that malicious a guy to lie like that. Does he seem like it? Natalie says he really doesn’t. Then she promises not to tell anyone Frank told her.

Right on cue Nicole comes in the kitchen where they’re sitting at the counter and munches on a bowl of dry Apple Jacks. Franks says to Natalie, “Ask her,” and Nicole does, telling the entire scenario to Natalie in a kind/gentle way, of course. So, the whole story’s now out. Frank is positively gleeful. Just then Victor comes into the kitchen and sticks his hand right into Nicole’s Apple Jacks to help himself to a few crunches. It’s comedy gold. When Victor walks out of the kitchen we can see his back as he departs and Nicole’s squirming and giggling caps the scene off perfectly.

In other night-time news, Tiffany lost her cool with Frank and cried then got upset with herself because she got emotional and “everybody will see it on the feeds”. Yawn. Slutever, Tiffany. It was funny though, when she kept insisting how rational she is and that this is what drives Frank “crazy” – her being so rational. She said it all looking like this:

– Katherine Recap