Posted by Katherine Recap | "Reality" Competition, Hollywood, TV

There are two different experiences, both called “Big Brother”.

One is the television show Big Brother, as the CBS producers present it to broadcast tv audiences, three times per week. But the other is what is actually going on in the Big Brother house; the experience of the house guests, unfiltered — or at least less filtered — by television editors.

Fetchland presents Ruining Big Brother. It’s less “spoiling” Big Brother and more pulling back the curtain, to ruin our collective illusions about reality television. Enjoy! Or better yet, recoil in horror

Daily BB House Stats:
HOH – Nicole
HOH Nominated – Jozea, Paulie
Roadkill Comp Winner – Frank
RK Nominated – Paul
Veto Winner – Paul

Have-Nots – currently none
Punishment Status – Bridgette, Frank, Michelle, Paulie wear nudie pixel suits

Team Unicorn is safe for first 2 evictions
Corey, Tiffany are safe for 2nd eviction

Team Big Sister: Da’Vonne, Paul, Zakiyah, Jozea
Team Category 4: Frank, Michelle, Paulie, Bridgette
Team Freakazoids: Nicole, Corey, Tiffany
Team Unicorn: James, Natalie, Victor, Bronte

The day begins around noon eastern time, nine AM cage-matcher time as Frank talks to himself (us) in the beautiful backyard. He verifies facts for us about the Roadkill challenge and his role in nominating Paul then makes us laugh with a tirade of self-deprecation.

Over coffee Paul gives Nicole a lecture series on traveling the world and society’s over-reliance on money for happiness. He goes on and on and she’s never been better at the head nod and smile routine. It soon becomes clear that Paul’s conference-on-Paul shall continue all day and into the wee hours as Jozea gives a parallel lecture-series-on-Jozea from his bed/throne on the other funtacular feeds. James, hearby declared “best-smelling Houseguest” by the ladies, and all the smelly guys too find themselves listening and head nodding all day long. Soon we feedsters realize this is classic early days and that means a lot of cage-match convos that come to nothing. An awkward political discussion in the fake grass sends several conflict-avoidant houseguests fleeing across the coolest BB backyard yet. That was the most exciting event of the day – election talk. Yawn.


Classic Reaction Pic of Da’vonne & Bronte

So, there’s lots of napping and bitching to spare on Feeds – June 24th. We notice many cage-matchers complain that Victor is “selfish” and “greedy” because he eats a lot and does things like use the (rare in the BB house) avocados to make a face mask for himself. The ladies find him annoying in general, except Natalie, who can’t help but occasionally cuddle him. Most of the cage-matcher conversations, though, were about absolutely nada today, with many of them even explicitly saying they don’t want to talk game. Speaking of talking in circles, Natalie and Victor discuss the “relationship” they never really had or wanted while cuddling in bed together, the Platonic ideal of saying one thing while actively doing the opposite.

The afternoon brought a spunky puppet show in the kitchen with Da’vonne and Victor holding colorful stuffed animals up to the counter. Jozea, the king of late night promises, declares there will be another puppet show at night. He’s notorious now after making a serious habit of promising crucial meetings and spectacular shows for “2AM” or “later tonight” that never come to light.


Bjork = Bridgette

It’s interesting how much more attractive the houseguests are when they get all natural and normal after being in the house awhile. Their stiff, made-up, smiling facades from the pre show interviews fall away and we can see them simply as they are (on TV). Thus, whereas before they looked like TV characters, now they seem to simply be beautiful people. As always, we can’t help but start to see resemblances between houseguests and celebrities too. For instance, Bronte brings Tori Spelling to mind and Bridgette is the spitting image of the singer Bjork.


Paulie Bikes In Nudie Pixel Suit

A funny moment happens on the hammock when Michelle says she wants to work out but can’t because her nudie pixel outfit prevents it and then the camera pans behind her where Paulie rides a stationary bike in his pixel suit with great ferocity and speed. Meanwhile Day (Da’vonne) makes a lovely dinner for everyone and they’re appropriately grateful. Tiff, though, was a sad bunny all night. If you wanted semi-fun, nominally entertaining feeds instead of sad bunnytime, you could swing over to watch drunk Paul on auto-repeat with the “I’m so drunk, guys”. We could’ve easily mistaken him for a college girl at a frat party. Truth is, Frank let out a fart that was more interesting than drunken Paul. Paulie even said, “That one makes my list of top five most well-timed farts ever,” like in the history of the world, dudes.


Sad Bunny Tiff Pretending To Listen

So, it wasn’t the most exciting day feed-wise, but strap yourselves in because Sunday night will be a spicy show with lots of thrills on the feeds right after. Sure, you’ll likely be watching the Game of Thrones finale at the time… We get it! That’s why we’re here – to share our delightful dish of ruination and recap with you the very next day. Fetchland lives to serve you, baby!

– Katherine Recap


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