Posted by Katherine Recap | "Reality" Competition, Hollywood, TV

There are two different experiences, both called “Big Brother”.

One is the television show Big Brother, as the CBS producers present it to broadcast tv audiences, three times per week. But the other is what is actually going on in the Big Brother house; the experience of the house guests, unfiltered — or at least less filtered — by television editors.

Fetchland presents Ruining Big Brother. It’s less “spoiling” Big Brother and more pulling back the curtain, to ruin our collective illusions about reality television. Enjoy! Or better yet, recoil in horror

Daily BB House Stats:
HOH – Nicole
HOH Nominated – Jozea, Paulie
Roadkill Comp Winner – Frank
RK Nominated – Bridgette
Veto Winner – Paul

Have-Nots – currently none
Punishment Status – Bridgette, Frank, Michelle, Paulie wear nudie pixel suits

Team Unicorn is safe for first 2 evictions
Corey, Tiffany are safe for 2nd eviction

Team Big Sister: Da’vonne, Paul, Zakiyah, Jozea
Team Category 4: Frank, Michelle, Paulie, Bridgette
Team Freakazoids: Nicole, Corey, Tiffany
Team Unicorn: James, Natalie, Victor, Bronte

Frank was very funny on the 28th, with laugh out loud one liners many many times. For instance, during an afternoon “Thursday vote” chat someone mentions how they’re worried about __ throwing a crazy vote in the mix on eviction night. Frank slipped in, “I know if there’s some crazy vote you know it was either her or me.” After that he’s the one who figures out why Team Unicorn got the anti-slip shoes while the other teams didn’t. In fact, Frank doesn’t even have to think about it for a second. Meanwhile everyone else was composing wild conspiracy theories about the why behind BB house shoe distribution. When Joz complains about Tif wearing sunglasses indoors. Frank says, “Yeah, what are you, a poker player?” which is funny because her sister, Vanessa from Season 17, actually is a poker player Later he accidentally calls Bridgette “Britney” and when she calls him on it, he denies the foible, “You heard me wrong,” then a second later Frank goes right ahead and calls her Britney again only to follow up with a Bridgette in the next sentence just to keep her guessing. He’s hilarious in a truly quirky and fun way.


Glumtacular Tiffany and her black cloud 

Tiff remains anti-social, skulking through rooms all slouchy and glum in all black with a cursed expression. Her black cloud of emotion hangs over the whole house so that Frank and Da’vonne talk about “doing damage control” and “babysitting” her. Poor James even talks it out with Tiff a bit, helping ease her paranoia. All we can think is Damn Girl! You’re not even on the block right now. After Tiff tells Mama Day about her conversation w/James. Tiff wants to know specifically what James said. So, Day replies, “Just that he doesn’t trust you,” then Tiff jokes about how the “game is starting” but she’s a big part of this whole “game playing scene” although she doesn’t seem aware of her effect on others.

The Spy girls discuss how “comfortable” Paulie seems and how unnerving it is, after all he should be worried. He should be trying to stay but he’s not even asking them to help him stay, etc. They talk abut how fishy Corey is, counting his money and mocking that his clothing company saves a puppy for every $100 a customer spends. It seems that they can’t help but start stirring pots and right on schedule there’s drama in the forecast for BB house June 28th evening. James is the first main target tonight for some reason and it’s coming at him from both sides.

Nicole asks glumtacular Tiffany what’s wrong and she replies that it’s nothing to do with Nicole or any of the girls. Then James joins her on the hammock and all the feelings comes flooding out. It’s JAMES that’s bugging her. Tiffany says she feels like he’s giving her the hairy eyeball on the regular and it’s upsetting because he’s the one in the house she most came into it feeling like she could trust and work with. He says she acts just like her sister with her mannerisms and it’s weird for him. But that’s not a big deal at all and there’s really nothing weird between them. Honestly, she’s imaging the “looks” she thinks he’s giving her. Tiffany decompresses a bit and even smiles a few time after this. But if there’s one thing we’ve learned from 17 previous years of Big Brother, it’s that this isn’t likely over yet. She’s got a seed planted in her about James now and it’s likely to take root, burst out of the ground, and grow leaves rather than die just because he says, “It’s cool”.


Zakiyah taught Nicole dance in sync

Then Nicole and Zak do an adorable dance together in the backyard with lots of choreography and stay in perfect sync while Tiff pounds out the beat in the background for them. It’s a crowd-pleaser as Da’vonne shouts, “That’s my baby!” from the sidelines and everyone enjoys it. Everyone but for Nicole who has hilarious complaints like, “I thought we were gonna get cute first,” and when she explains that she didn’t like doing it because, “I don’t like pubic speaking”.

But that’s enough fun and hijinx for one day. Fired-up late night sparks are ready to fly on the feeds for our first evening of high drama. Below you’ll find a breakdown of what was said and when:


Victor apologizes to Natalie


Natalie tells Jozea that James didn’t say it

1:45 AM – Jozea dramatically asks that Victor apologize to Natalie about a comment he made on her pants. Jozea says it’s going to snowball against them if Victor doesn’t fix this now. Victor isn’t happy about it but apologizes anyway.
1:55 AM – Paul drags Bronte outside in a fury saying that if he gets hushed again he’s going to scream. Jozea is also infuriated about the girls’ “feminist power thing.” Paul says if he gets told it’s “girl talk” again he’s going to “punch her in the face.”
2:10 AM – Paul rants on and on about the women and James. He calls James the “Little Korean Man.”
2:20 AM – Says Paul “I can’t deal with women. I’m over it. I’m done,” then he gives an ironic speech about how “people in this house can’t see the bigger picture” when he has no concept of what’s going on in the bigger picture himself. We’re not sure what Paul thinks he’s accomplishing with all of his woman-bashing.
2:35 AM BBT – Jozea and Natalie discuss a rumor that James said Victor asked out Nicole, but Natalie has no recollection of James saying that to her. (He didn’t say it at all – Bronte made it up.) Bronte says James is trying to pull us apart and then prevents Jozea, Paul and Victor from saying that she was the one to tell them.
2:40 AM – Paul declares he’ll be punching people if Jozea gets evicted (he will) and no prob if he has to leave the BB house in handcuffs as a result.
2:46 AM – Bronte says she wants to choke James and will “send (James) back to Hong Kong”. After that when Natalie says she can’t wait to cook tomorrow, Paul suggests they poison the other side’s food.
3:10 AM – Jozea says Da’Vonne will definitely vote with them against Paul because, “Day doesn’t want to go to the end with Caucasian people,” though where he got this idea is anybody’s guess. Maybe it came from Delusions Unlimited, a store where Jozea seems to shop so much he must have a rewards card full of hole punches by now.


Jozea’s lecture on womankind

Speaking of which, Jozea gives Bronte and Natalie a lecture series on “being a woman” and claims to know exactly how they feel, “because of emotions,” and instructs them on the proper way to behave and respond to men. He comes off as an ass but thinks he’s made headway in connecting with them. Jozea even brings up the “time of the month” to them, which REALLY gets their support, as you can imagine and then winds down the whole lecture with. “Just like you can’t understand how I have a beard,” ummmm. OK, Jozea. His talking-to-girls game is lamer than lame. Bronte ends up walking away while he’s still talking on and on to Natalie, sitting there with a smile frozen on her face.

So, it was a drama-filled night with more than its share of racist comments and pot-stirring, Bronte most of all. Not only did Bronte say she’d like to send James “back to Hong Kong,” though James, being from the deep American South, wouldn’t exactly fit in there with his drawl; she also told that whopper lie about him. We’re not sure where that doozy came from but it puts a deadly target right on James. Nobody seems to question its validity even though Natalie has no recollection of James saying it to her and they all agree that it makes no sense. Victor clearly has no interest in Nicole. Why would he ask to take her out after the summer is over? He wouldn’t. And even if he would, why would James tell Natalie this? But still, Jozea and Paul believe Bronte about this. So, if Bronte’s goal was to put James in the crosshairs, she seems to be the clear winner of the feeds for June 28th.

– Katherine Recap


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